Archives for the month of: March, 2013

Today I was thinking about human life and how wonderful it is to be alive.  The simple things like watching the clouds float across the sky,  the majesty of a rainbow, watching children play, eating ice cream, playing fetch with the dogs, the joy of sex, and pleasure of eating my favorite foods.

Then my mind switched tack and I thought about the life of one of my favorite marine creatures.  I am a diver and love life beneath the sea. I thought about whales, sharks, schooling fish, coral reefs, and them my mind settled on one of my favorite animals, the Blue Ring Octopus.  This tiny creature lives following a prsecribed destiny.  Each day, it spends its time foraging for food, and protecting itself from being eaten. Nature has provided this animal with a weapon, a toxic poison strong enough to kill a man in fact. But it uses the weapon only for defense. It is also very good at hiding in plain sight.

I saw one of these magnificent creatures on the last dive I did.  I was a female and she had a brood of eggs.  I had never seen this before and was amazed. There must have been hundreds of tiny eggs, and she was very concerned about my presence.  She had no idea if I was a threat or not. I observed her for about 10 minutes making sure not to disturb her.

It was an incredible experience for me and also a bit sad. You see the life of an octopus is very different that of humans.  A female octopus will reproduce only once.  After mating she will not eat and once the octopus babies are hatched, she will die.

Reflecting on this has made realize that humans are lucky.  We can enjoy so many things, especially watching our babies grow and flourish. So I celebrate life and being alive.

 

Death.  It is the end or a new beginning. Do we go to heaven or hell, or does our spirit get reincarnated and live on? Whose to say? What seems clear is that surviving children, spouses, and siblings experience an emotional rollercoaster with feelings of ranging from relief and acceptance to stress, abandonment, and anger. Some even hide or mask their feelings and just feel numb.

In cases where the individual had a long sickness, feelings of relief are understandable.  Nobody likes seeing another person suffer. But when a sudden death occurs to a car accident or heart attack some family members come realize that they wish they had had a chance to talk about situations that occurred a long time ago.  Issues like divorce, abuse, drinking, drugs, violence, feelings of lack, guilt, separation are not uncommon. Many times these emotions have been dormant for decades and death brings them up to the surface.

While this is common, it does not have to be. Each of us has accumulated emotional pain, it is part of the human condition.  That said we all have the opportunity to deal with past pain and live a life full of peace and love. We don’t need to wait till a death brings these emotions and memories to the surface. We can deal with them now.

The process entails taking a personal pain inventory and addressing each incident of the past and writing down what you remember and felt. Once done the next step is to forgive everyone one for everything.  This is easier said than done, but it can be done and that is the point.  In addition you need to let the people on the list know that you have forgiven them.  Send them a letter, or see them in person.  If a person on the list is already dead do it anyway. The process is important to live with peace and love and eliminate the chance that these painful experiences could affect how you act or react to situations in your current or future relationships.

Forgiving yourself is also very important.  Holding on to guilt and blame will not serve you will.  Remember, you have to love yourself before others can. Realize that whatever happened is over, and that you have the desire to let it go and free yourself of the past.

For all the people you may have caused to feel pain, anxiety, guilt, anger, and frustration ask them to forgive you.  Admit the behavior, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.  Regardless of what they do, you have taken responsibility for your life and decided you want to live with peace and love.  That is all that really matters.

By the time you have done this all the negative emotional baggage will be gone. In its place will be love and this is the secret to life. When your heart and soul is at peace and you are living with love, you have become truly wealthy.  Enjoy the richness of life.  Be abundant.

Action is what is required to make your dreams into reality. If you want something believe in yourself. Start by writing it down.  Be as specific as you can. Once done look at the list and get to work.  If you know how to do it, fine get to it.  If you don’t know how try to work backwards.  Think of the goal as a recipe and determine what is required to make it happen. Once you have done that you will have determined what skills you need to acquire, and what you need to learn in order to achieve it. Then step by step take action to make it happen.  Constant effort is the key. Don’t let fear keep you from doing or learning what is required.   The universe will help you as long as you hold on to your goal, see yourself as having achieved it, take action, have faith, and believe in yourself.

Remember the little train that could.  It said to itself I think I can, I think I can.  And, it did.

What is – is what is happening now.  Its the present moment.  What was is the past –  Its what has already happened. What shall be is the future  – and it has not happened yet

What is happening now for me at this moment is that my wife desires a divorce. I am considering her happiness as well as that of myself and our children. We have been married for almost 18 years, and while the last few have been challenging my mindset has been to try to work it out. Her mindset is that she is ready to move on and has a strong need to establish her own life and identity. I have to accept that because her feelings are real and I value them.  I am also thinking of our children and that I desire them to grow up knowing they are loved and not at fault for our problems.

I had allowed my past pain to trigger my ego and as a result the frustrations in our marriage made me angry. I know this is part of her reasons for wanting divorce. At the same time  she too has a past and it affected her behavior. I cannot change our pasts, or her way of thinking. But, I can change the way I act, and react.

It was a long process (6 months) that included forgiving my parents, myself, & my wife.  In addition I asked for forgiveness from them. It was like peeling the layers of an onion, and yes I did cry. For each pain that I removed (feelings of resentment, lack, anger, frustration) I created new space and filled it with love, compassion, acceptance, and peace. Now, I am a new man.

I still have a divorce to go through, but my mindset at present will enable me to do it with love.  I know that sounds a bit strange, but its true.  I really want us both to be happy.   I know that getting divorced with love will only serve to facilitate us working together to raise our children with love.

The divorce will be the end of my marriage but the beginning of something new.  A life filled with peace and love.

I do not know what the future will bring but I am manifesting love and am confidant that I will be be happy and that my children will grow up loved and well adjusted.

I know what I have learned about myself and about life will enable me to have a loving relationship when the time is right.

I am being tested.  The trial and tribulations of my current life circumstance challenge me daily. I make a conscious effort not to get angry and for the most part succeed. But sometimes, the negative energy, is to much and I get mad. Fortunately I am able to recognize it and most of the time let it pass through. What helps is having hope, faith, and belief in myself and the universe. I do my best not to pass judgment on others and accept them as they are.  But sometimes it’s hard.  Thank god I have hope!

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.  I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them they make them………. George Bernard Shaw

What a great quote.

In life we have a tendency to put our blame on others rather than take responsibility for our actions and our lives.  The truth is what we contemplate we create.

As my journey continues I am learning to be accountable for my thoughts and actions. I am not going to subscribe to the style of thinking that I am a victim. I realize that no matter what happens I have enabled it to manifest.

How about you?

Where energy goes results show. What you resist persists.  quotes from the book the secret.

This means if you think bad thoughts, bad things will happen.  The universe has a way of producing what you think about as a life experience. So think good thoughts and positive things will occur in your life.

The thought I think I can, is powerful.    Years ago I wanted to start a portrait business.  Everyone in the local community said I couldnt do it.  I was not good enough. There was too much competition. I did not listen.  Everyday I thought only about making it happen.  I took action and went to seminars, lectures,&  workshops.  I  went to resorts in my area and informed them of my service.  I  made a website. I invested my time, energy and spirit, and it payed off.  I created a successful portrait business, and later branched out to leading dive trips around the world, leading photo safaris and teaching photography.

I used my talent, skill, and artistic ability to make portraits that captured the love a family has. The images evoked an emotional response and made feel good and smile.  The portraits of nature and landscapes communicated the peace and beauty of our world and made people feel good. Little did I know at the time is that besides photography being my business it enabled me me to be of service to others.

My business is currently on hold due to my current life circumstance, but once my rightful freedom is restored I will continue the work I love to do.  In addition I will start something new.   I am going to speak to children about the power of positive thinking, how to deal with peer pressure, the power of belief, and how to live in the now.  I know I can do it because I think I can. I truly believe in myself and can see in my mind that I am doing it.  The universe provides what the mind thinks and believes.

My advice to all people regardless of color, age, or religion is to follow your heart.  You can create the reality you want.  Of course you will be tested.  People may tell you its not possible.  When that happens remember a long time ago people said it was not possible to fly, but the wright brothers did not pay attention and followed their internal beliefs.  Now, their are more airlines than I can count and hundred of thousands people fly everyday. Another example is Martin Luther King Jr.   He had a dream – an incredible dream that indeed manifested.

Everyone of us has the ability to be of service and of benefit to our planet. We all have unique talents, skills, and ability. The secret to manifesting what you want  is desire, intent, faith, belief, commitment,  love and internal belief.  I think I can, and so can you!

In this journey of life there are many lessons.  Among the most important is forgiveness.  It is not an easy concept to actualize as our ego thrives on past pain, turmoil, conflict, fear, lack, heartbreak, rejection, disappointment, anguish, and anger.  The feelings and emotion stem from our childhood, life circumstance, behavior, divorce, illness, social interaction, and expectations that were not met.  Our subconscious mind uses these feelings as fuel to dictate negative thoughts about others as well as ourselves. As a result many people  suffer. Negative emotional baggage affects behavior and the mind of the individual as well as society.  This is evidenced when families and siblings fight amongst each other,  school year fights, married couples get divorced, the abundance of gang wars, as well as wars between countries.

The process of forgiveness starts with within.  In order to live with peace and love, we must all learn to forgive ourselves. Only then can we forgive others.  The process of forgiveness demands self and societal introspection. We must acknowledge the past pain, and forgive it. Once done we can truly be at peace.

Take the time to inventory what past pain you carry beneath the surface. Item by item forgive yourself for the situation, the person that caused the pain and for whatever pain you may have caused. This is a cleansing process that removes negativity and makes space for positivity.

The process works and can bring peace to individuals as well as societies around the world. Through forgiveness hate is gone, and peace thrives. No matter what race, religion, color, sex, age, or language we all want the same basic thing – to live in peace and love our families and to be happy.

Indeed forgiveness requires effort, belief, action, and faith. The reward is peace and it so worth the effort.

So take the time to forgive, you will be glad you did.

There is no good in arguing with the inevitable.  The only argument available with an east wind is to put on your overcoat  – James Russel Lowell

If a person refuses to accept whatever their current life situation happens to be the result is feeling frustration, anxiety, emotional pain, pressure, frustration, and discontentment. These feelings occur inside the body, mind, and spirit. Keeping these feelings inside leads to our ego feeding off of them and controlling our behavior so that we have no patience, get angry, say things we don’t really mean, as well as cause disease.

Acceptance of what is going on does mean you have to agree, like, or condone the situation.It just means that you are aware of whats going on.  Individuals cannot control the world or other people. People can only control what goes on within their mind. The choice is simple. Go with the flow of life, swim against the current.  The latter is not an easy thing to accomplish. There are countless obstacles and it is physically and mentally exhausting.If you have ever tried swimming in the ocean against the current or changing tide you know what I am referring to.

The bottom line is that people will do what they do and you can either accept it or fight it. Just like swimming against the current is futile so is not accepting whats going on.  If you cant accept the situation, accept that you cant.  This will help avoid the negative feelings, guilt, anger, frustration, and help to make you feel better or lighter.

Accepting what is real as well as whatever negative thoughts you have is an important element of happiness. You can be at peace and or you can bitter and angry.  The choice is yours.