I am going through a hard time in my life.  For almost 8 months my life circumstance has been testing me.  I am in a place I do not want to be and there is nothing I can do about it. During this time I have embarked on a voyage of self discovery and have awakened my inner spirituality.  Mediation, prayer, affirmations, and hope have helped me stay for positive, learn to love myself, love others and be of service to others.  While proud of what I have accomplished, I still have a ways to go.

Today I was expecting some good news, and it did not come. as a result I got a bit depressed.  I spoke with my sister about it and she was very understanding and tried to remind me that I am  loved and that in time my situation will improve.  I love her so much for her never ending support.  We should all be so lucky to have a sister like I have.  Little did I know but she confided my feelings to a close friend and sent me the letter below. It helped me alot.  I hope it is of value to those that read it too.

Enjoy.

I think it’s normal to pass through this kind of process.  Depression comes when we think something will happen in our lives and then it does not.  It can be in the form of people disappointing us,  feeling as if we the world is against us, thinking that everything bad happens to us, etc.  This is what happens when the ego sneaks up on us and takes over our mind and throws a dark cloak over our essence.  Everything you are as a wonderful person is still there, but the ego will not allow you to see it.  It feels like it has to protect itself against your true self.

When this happens you need to be the observer of the ego, or of the mind.  The chatter that the ego creates in our mind can overwhelm us if we allow it.  And rather than fight with it (which is what the ego wants) we should view it as something of a child throwing a tantrum.  We look at that the child and allow the child to act out,  viewing  the child from the outside without opinion.   This is how you should look at your ego which is throwing a tantrum inside you head.  And if you fight with it it will win.  If you observe that this is happening inside your mind, again, being the observer of your ego, then your essence will once again reveal itself, and the child will begin to stop with the tantrum.  Once the ego is found out it gives up.  This is the process of being present in practice.  We laugh at the child who throws a fit because we see it for what it is.  The same for the ego.  We see it for what it is.  All the ego wants is pain, and attention, and pity, and the indulgence in negative emotions.
As you are alone think to yourself about your problems and ask the question.  As I am sitting here is there any problem I have at this moment.  Is my life in danger?  Am I going to die?  Do I have to defend myself against someone?  The answer is mostly no.  At this moment I have nothing that is affecting me now that warrant any of the emotions I am thinking about.  Your mind is turning out one movie after another, none of which will ever come true.  It’s all made up.  Every last movie.  The only movie that’s real is the one that playing right now in front of you.  There is no other show in town but the one you are playing in at the moment.  So, though it may seem most difficult when the child in your mind is throwing a tantrum, this is the time to be most attentive and observant of your presence.  This is the REAL test.  Not a rehearsal.  And we have all been there and done that to varying degrees.  Unless we are the buddha we learn from originally  not knowing.  We cannot know what light is unless we have the darkness to give us a yardstick to measure it by.  But in the depth of your soul your essence is always there to bring you home.
So, now you have the ability to choose what it is you want to pay attention to.  Continue in pain?  You can do that until it becomes too much and you release yourself.  Eventually you will.  Why not shorten the time frame and choose to do it now instead of maybe in an hour, or a day, or even week.  The time won’t make any difference.  The sooner you let go of ego and come home the less energy will be consumed by “the dark side”.  Come out of the darkness of the small room and into the light of the big room.
Thank you for this letter my friend. It has helped me stop feeling depressed. In fact now I am again feeling love and hope.  I will read this letter often to remind me to stay present.  I am so grateful and appreciative to have you in my life.
Well I hope all of you that took the time to read this, benefit from it as I did.  I hope you all live with love and peace.
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