Archives for the month of: July, 2013

Imagination, self confidence, faith, and patience are the key ingredients that turn dreams into reality.  You can create your own destiny.  Don’t give up hope or faith.  Remember Einstein tried over 1000 times before he said eureka and the light bulb was invented.

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Each of has has a personal set of rules and values.  Things will we do, must do, and must not do.  Knowing your rules as well as those you are in a relationship with will help you to communicate in a manner that does not violate your rules or theirs. If you don’t know the boundaries have it is easy to cross them and as a result you will trigger negative emotions and cause pain for them and possibly yourself.  So talk to your spouse, kids, co-workers and find out what their rules and boundaries are.  Then you can use that knowledge to communicate in a way that is effective and peaceful.

Happiness comes from inside. Think about ice cream, rainbows, your dog, a smiling child and see if you feel happy.

Waiting for something to happen to make you happy might lead to feelings of frustration.  You cant control when things happen, or what people will do.  But, you can control how you feel.  It takes presence and a mindset that life is to be cherished.

Human beings were not created by god to be unhappy.  We were manifested to be happy and contribute to the world.

So be happy and let the love and joy shine through you. This will spread to others and the world will be better for it.  Remember it all starts with a smile.

 

Wishing you all live with love and peace

 

Sometimes people that care about you might give you unasked for advice.  If you can control your ego and not get upset, you might just learn something valuable.  If you can’t stay present in the moment, your ego will wake up and you will likely feel rejection, frustration, anxiety, fear, sense of loss, or anger. These emotions will not serve you well.

If your not in the frame of mind to take the advice, just listen and let it come in one ear and go out the other.  In this case a response like ” is that so” will show that you have listened and is not negative.  It shows that you respect the other persons intent but are not into pursuing the topic.

Remember this – only you can control your emotions.  Do not give that power away.  IF you let others dictate how you feel  the result will be pain.

Lastly remember you get more flies with honey……..

Hopefully this unasked for advice will help you live with love and peace.

 

Aloha

Try to remember that all things are transient.  They come and go.  Just as you buy a car and use it for 10 years than get another, emotions and feelings come and go.  When you can accept all that occurs and be at one with it, rather than separate from it this is consciousness and who you really are.

Couples that are married and considering a divorce need to consider the long term ramifications on their children. Young children might not be mature enough to realize that the problems their parents are having are their own, and might feel partially responsible. This is sure to have long term effects on the child. So parents, save your young ones from needless guilt and blame by communicating with them.  Let them know up front the divorce is not their fault.  Show unconditional love to the child and as much as possible never say disparaging things about the other parent. It will not help you or your child.

Make every every effort to spend quality time with children.  Just being with them lets them know you care about and love them.  This is what they need the most. It may take the kids years to understand the dynamics of relationships but letting them know are wanted and loved will only help them grow up without carrying around emotional baggage.  This is true for kids of all ages.  Keep in mind that when kids know they are loved and that they can talk to both parents about whats going on in their lives, as they become teenagers and are exposed to peer and social pressure they are better able to make the right decisions.  This could help eliminate problems  like drug abuse, alcohol use,  and teenage pregnancy from arising.

The more you love them and communicate with them when they are growing up the better prepared they will be as adults.  This will help them in their personal relationships.

So even if you dont love your spouse, make sure to love and care for your kids.

Have you ever considered that what you perceive others are thinking or feeling about you is actually a reflection of what you think and feel?

Perhaps it’s true the person your thinking about has bad feelings for you but the truth is you can never really know what another person is thinking.  Nor can you control what they think or fee.  You can only control how you think and feel.

So if you have these feelings, take some time and look inside your heart.  What feelings are there?  Is it envy, disrespect, dislike, anger, resentment, fear, abandonment, disappointment, or frustration? If so you need to acknowledge and release them.

The process of recognizing these feelings is the first step in letting them go.  There is nothing wrong with having these feelings. Problems start when the ego takes hold of these feelings, amplifies them and in turn takes over your emotions, actions, reactions, and behavior.  This is where damage is done.

So as soon as you realize the feelings exist, accept them do not judge them. Once this is done, they cannot feed the ego and are released.  They just go away leaving space in your heart for positive emotions.  This is one of the keys to living with love and peace.

Another way to feel at peace is to change the intensity of the emotions you feel.  For example if you are angry, could it be that you are less than content.  If you feel you have been disrespected could it be that you feel a bit miss understood?  When you change the words associated with the emotion you feel, you change its strength and that makes it so much easier to acknowledge and let go.

Have you ever tried giving advice with the best of intentions to another person and their response was based on frustration and anger, rather than appreciation for the fact that you cared and wanted to help improve a particular situation.   Sadly this occurs quite a bit. The reason is because each person has an ego.

Our egos lie dormant inside us and awaken when we feel emotions like pain, rejection, frustration, anger, resentment. When advice is given, it triggers one or more of these emotions, and just like that ego responds before a person is even aware that it is happening.  The ego loves drama, in fact it feed upon it.

When you give advice and the recipient responds with a verbal attack, one of the best things to do is to just be present in the moment.  Accept how they feel, and what they say.  Don’t feed the fire.  If you feel emotional surges based on their response and don’t let it go, your ego will awaken and the situation will only escalate.

Another way to offer advice is to choose your words very carefully.  Make sure to be as neutral and supportive as possible.  Words carry impact, and some words are stronger than others.  So by selecting words that do not light a fuse will help you communicate and not cause an eruption from the other person.

The other thing to remember is the old saying opinions are like ass holes – everybody has one….

Hopefully this advice will be well received and enable you to live with love and peace.

 

Aloha

Before you ask questions about life or other people, try asking some questions about yourself.  Who are you?   Are you your job, religion, wealth, health, family?  What else do you identify with?  Could it be that truly knowing yourself goes far deeper that your beliefs and concepts you hold dear. Is it possible that underneath these ideas you are part of God –part of the universe?

Instead of the thoughts that exist in your mind could be that who you really are is not what you think but what your actions and reactions reveal.  If you are at peace and your actions and behavior reflect that than that is who you are. This is conscious thinking. If you have a lot of anger inside and you act with anger, than who you really are is an angry person.  This is unconscious thinking.

This too shall pass are simple words that carry tremendous power.  All things are temporary.  You are born, you live you die, And so you are transient.  Houses, clothes, cars, relationships come and go. Anger, resentment, disappointment come and go.

Keep this in mind the next time you find yourself in a less than desirable situation.  It will decrease the strength of the emotion you feel. When things are going great, remember they will not last forever so really enjoy the moments. Make the most of them.

What this really means is enjoy the now and live with love and peace.