Each of has has a personal set of rules and values.  Things will we do, must do, and must not do.  Knowing your rules as well as those you are in a relationship with will help you to communicate in a manner that does not violate your rules or theirs. If you don’t know the boundaries have it is easy to cross them and as a result you will trigger negative emotions and cause pain for them and possibly yourself.  So talk to your spouse, kids, co-workers and find out what their rules and boundaries are.  Then you can use that knowledge to communicate in a way that is effective and peaceful.