Archives for the month of: October, 2013

Whatever is going on in your life, and whatever your life circumstance happens to be that is real. You can accept it as what is, or you can deny it.  This is how life works.  Everyone has issues and problems.  It is how we deal with them that allows us to live with love and peace.  When we accept what is it might mean we need to forgive ourselves or others for what is going on.

We all make mistakes, that is part of being human, but the mistakes we make do not define who we are. It is how we react, and learn from the mistakes we make that define who we really are. Remember the past is done there is no going back. The present is what is happening now, and the future has not yet arrived.   We can help create our future by taking action in the present.

This applies to relationships, emotions, career, health, fun, and how we deal with adversity.  Life need not be discouraging, in fact it can be exciting. It is all a matter of of we deal with things and the actions or reactions we have to situations that arise, goals we have made, our core values and beliefs.  Faith, belief, and self esteem help us work through issues and find love and peace.

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One of the reasons some people become successful in life is that they tap into their imagination and use it to ell their minds that they can achieve their goals. They envision what it would be like and feel like once their goal has been achieved.  Their imagination becomes a catalyst and sparks the unconscious mind into action.  This is the place creativity, ideas, methodologies, and solutions are born and after taking shape move into the realm of the conscious mind.  The ability for the mind and heart to believe that something is possible, enables it to become a reality.  This is what some call a self fulfilled prophecy.

Sometimes a situation presents itself where you have to make a choice.  You can let something go and be happy.  Or you can be right and end up being unhappy.  This is true for relationships, business, raising children, and how you think.   In this last example, I am referring to self esteem, state of mind, and positive thinking.

If you think your going to fail at something, you are programming your self not to succeed. If you think think your not worthy of getting a promotion, you will probably wont.  At the same time if you think you can achieve your goals you will.   How you feel about yourself will set off a chain of events that will follow your mindset and inner beliefs.  How you perceive yourself  affects the outcome of all your endeavors.  So you can set yourself up to succeed or fail.  The choice is yours.

If you think your not worthy of having a relationship, guess what your relationship will crumble.  So in a sense you will be right, but will you be happy.  What I am suggesting is that it is better to be happy than to be right.   Everyone is worthy of having a relationship, of getting the promotion.  But it requires belief in yourself and having self esteem.

If you lack self esteem rather than look back at what you have done wrong or failed to do.  Look back at all the things you have succeeded at and draw from that. It could be as simple as winning a chess game, or having had one incredible sale at work, or the time you dated someone special.

Another example is how you relate to people that have done you wrong.  As an example, when I was detained in in a third world country, a man kept stealing from me.  I knew he did it, in fact he even admitted doing it, all the while with a big grin on his face.  He had no respect for me.  I had the choice.  I could be right and tell on him or get in his face or even resort to violence, but what would that accomplish.  I would be right but would I be happy.  Violence is never a good option and more harm comes from it. If I went to the authorities, I would be right but what of the ramifications that would certainly come back to me. I am not saying that it is better to just let others walk over you. In this situation I felt it best to just let it go and surrender to what is.   The result is that my anger went away and I was happy. I knew that my time in that place would come to an end and these problems were not life threatening.  And, I remembered the saying that this too shall pass.  I also realized that I could not change this persons behavior, nor did I want to try. We each have to follow our own paths and in this case I chose the way of less resistance and hostility. I am happy that the problems did not get out of hand.

I am sure those of you reading this have had situations arise that that you had to make a choice to be right or to be happy.  IF your willing to share your experience, I would love to read about it.

I am in process of divorce, and was married for over 18 years.  I really thought I knew my wife but it turns out I did not know who she really was until now.  Over the last few years we had problems communicating, in that we did not really talk about us, or the problems that existed under the surface.  I will not bash my spouse by saying bad things, but I will say this.  I never knew who she really was until we separated. The things she has done have shocked me to the core. It has made me realize the truth in the old saying that hell have no fury like that of a woman scorned.  I feel as if my heart as been in a blender and shredded.

My sister and I are very close and she said to me recently you never really know a person until you get divorced and for a woman who has never married, she sure got that right.  That said I wish she was wrong.  Seeing the side of my wife that was foreign to me did not bring any peace or happiness to either of us, just anxiety and turmoil.  I do not mean to infer I was blameless in our marriage.  I take responsibility for the fact I was not perfect, did not listen well enough, tolerated the lack of communication, and settled instead of trying to improve the situation.  I admit I had fears of being alone and did not want to raise our kids in a divorced family.  Now I know better.  I am dealing with being on my own, and it does not scare me.  I will always love my kids, and do all I can to spend time with them, and support them.  While growing up in a broken home will be hard, I will make sure they know they are loved.  I will not talk stink about their mother, and even though we have our issues, I will show my support for her as much as possible.  Even though we are almost divorced I wish her every success.

My advice for people having problems in their marriage is this.  Learn to surrender and forgive as it erases old buried pain and anger that has been growing beneath the surface.  Let it go as much as you can and concentrate on the life in front of you and not what has already transpired.  The past is over. To live in the past is to live in pain. If you have kids.  Leave them out of it.  Both parents should avoid saying bad things about the other to the kids, even if they are true, as it will have long term affects on the kids and your relationships with them.  Leave out guilt, Don’t try to get  even. Rise above the hate and anger, and concentrate on making the now better, to ensure a good future.

Love is the most powerful emotion in the universe. True love is giving of ones self without expectation.  Love is being selfless, compassionate, charitable, and understanding.  Love is forgiveness.  Love is passion for living, giving, and of being of service to others.

Love is invisible yet its power and strength is undeniable. Love s to be alive and to be vital.  Love of self, others, nature, family, other people, and all living things empowers us and enables us to reach our highest good and highest god of all people and our planet.

Love erases hate and prejudice.  Love concurs anger, and feelings of separation and rejection.  Love is available to everyone regardless of race, color, religion, country of origin,and  sexual preference.

love comes from within and is not  the result of outside circumstance. Love shines like a beacon of light that illuminates us all.

Love is the ability to live in peace and harmony.

Love is……..

Today I observed a group of ants working together to take a dead bee back to their nest.At first there was one ant, and it found the bee and without hesitation started pulling it towards its nest.  And then there was another, and another, and within minutes there were too many to count.  I was amazed at their strength and determination. Progress was slow at the beginning but as more ants came and helped, the pace increased. It was amazing to see how fast these ants were working. Just like that they disappeared around the corner and into a crack in the base of the wall.

As I watched, it seemed to me that there was a life lesson to be learned. One person can make a difference with steadfast belief and determination. However when a community gets involved it seems the progress of their efforts is unstoppable.

I wonder and imagine what would happen the world community were able to pull together and use their combined strength and beliefs to help feed the world, provide water that is safe to drink, educate the youth of the world, end political corruption, manage the worlds natural resources, end pollution, develop new sources of energy, end the dependence we have for oil, stop illegal fishing, stop shark finning, purge racial and religious prejudice, and control green house gas emissions.  Any and all of these actions would change the world and make it a better place for everyone, and everything. In this way we could as a world community live with love and peace.

After a daunting rain, a rainbow appears and brings with it beauty and inspiration.  People experience turbulent times but they pass and its wake comes peace and happiness. Thus is the rhythm of life.  If not fo th hard times, good times would not be cherished or appreciated. If not for the mistakes people make thee would be ignorance as it is through mistakes that we learn, grow, & understand that life is joyous. True richness emanates from love that exists within all of us.

Everyone at some point exercises poor judgement and makes bad decisions. Some are expensive in terms of finances or emotional turmoil. It is the people that are present enough to look within themselves, as opposed to outside that are able to learn forgiveness that profit from all their life experiences.

Surrender, letting go, and forgiveness are not easy lessons to master.  This is because they carry such a negative charge, and a state of mind that feeds the ego.  Those that are blind to the power of the ego cannot see that their actions and behavior are not self serving but are destructive qualities that serve no purpose. Many of these people suffer from a victim mentality and if they could somehow reach beyond it could end their own misery.

life is meant to be wonderful just like a rainbow after the rain.  We should encourage all people to look within themselves in order to see the full spectrum of life.  I this way everyone could live with love and peace and deal positively with all of lifes circumstances.

 

You cant see air but it sustains your life. You cant exist without it.  Love is also invisible and it is the quality that brings peace, happiness, fulfillment, joy, belonging, and meaning to your life.  You can live without love but why would you want to.  Without love your heart while it pumps blood to sustain life, would be barren.  With love your heart is full and that motivates you to be selfless rather than selfish, happy rather than sad, complete, rather than empty, and giving without the need to take.

Love is more than what you have for your children, spouse, & dogs. Love is the strongest power in the universe and it dwells within each and every human being and creates all that is good within this world.  Love is more than an emotion, it is the essence of life.

Love does not see color, race, old or young, and it does not care about your religion.  Love is not prejudice.  Love is not the result of outside circumstance, it comes from within.  Love is more powerful than money yet it brings richness into your life, and the lives of all people – everywhere.  Love concurs hate. In fact it erases it.

Love to live, and live to love,  What a concept.  So love yourself, love your neighbor, and love your enemy.  If we could all love he world would be heaven on earth.  So let the love in.

A few hundred years ago, the colonies went to war for Americans to have freedom.   People were tired of suffering from the tyranny of England.  Americans wanted the freedom to choose religion, elect their leaders, and wanted to dictate their own policies, and political practices, and taxes.

Since then the concept of living free has been the cornerstone of the American mindset.  Songs have been written like Born Free, Home on the Range exemplify this.  Today Americans are free to live where ever they choose, do the work they work they want, practice the religion of their choice, wear the clothes and fashion styles they desire, and serve in the military if they so choose, and practice the religion of their choice.  Basically Americans are free to make their own decisions.  But what about inner freedom?

I look around and see many people that are angry, and not satisfied in their work, marriage, relationships, or financial situation.  Just driving the down the highway it’s easy to see people feeling road  rage.  It occurred to me that all people want to arrive at their destinations safely, be in happy fulfilled relationships, love their work, and feel secure that they can pay the bills. But something is getting in the way.

Perhaps it is because they are not free on the inside.  So many people are just going through the motions of life and are not in tune with them selves.  Rather than be happy they carry past pain and suffering in the hearts and allow their emotions and ego to control their actions, reactions, and behavior. If people invested  time looking within themselves in order to control their emotions, learn patience, and surrender, live in the present moment they would no longer be numb to the real joy of living and of being happy.

We did not fight for freedom all those years ago, so that today we could mad at the world.  No the idea was to be free in order to live a life of love and peace.

What is it that makes someone hate another? Is it the result of rejection, frustration, and fear?  Does it come as a result of social pressure,  our upbringing, religion, personal beliefs, prejudice, or could it be that we inherit it from our parents, the media, or living environment?  What is it about hate that some people are unable to get over the past, forgive others, or themselves?

Could it be that our ego feed the hate and gives it power over our actions, emotions, and behavior? Does this in turn generate a feeling of strength, and self importance?  Why does hate have the ability to keep people from learning and practicing forgiveness, or prohibit people from listening to another? And why can hate so effectively cloud ones judgement, and capacity to know right from wrong?  What is it about hate that when attempts are made for conflict resolution they are sen as personal attacks?  How can one overcome hate and learn to live with love and peace?

Some people say that seeing a therapist  is the best way to overcome hate.  While this is indeed effective it requires time and money. Others say turning to religion is the best way to concur hate.  Turning to god works for many people and should not be discounted as a valid technique it does not work for everyone.

I am not a priest, rabbi, monk, nor am I a trained therapist. I am just an ordinary man that has hated, and experienced hate. What worked for me was making the decision to study spirituality,  living in the now,  and a myriad of other self improvement books. I took from them what made sense, and then devoted time time looking within myself. I made the decision that I would get off the hate train as it led to nowhere I wanted go.

I believe with all my heart that if a person makes a decision to quit hating and start loving, they can do it. All that is required is conviction, faith, belief, hope, and learning how to control their emotions and most important their ego. Letting go of the past, learning forgiveness, practicing surrender, loving oneself, are key elements of the process.  Forgiveness has two elements.  First is forgiving yourself, and second forgiving those that you feel caused you pain, anxiety, frustration, and feelings of rejection.  The truth is when true forgiveness is given hate disappears.  In its place you will find, peace, love, and happiness.  Is that not what we all want in our lives?

Like a river that flows through calm water and challenging rapids, people go through easy and hard times.  That is life.  But like in a river that has turbulent water, eventually the current changes, and calm waters are found.  If people can let the past go and learn forgiveness, and stay present in the moment they will lie a life of love and peace…..