When a long term relationship ends people always say they are sorry. While it seems to be an appropriate response, one might also say congratulations. The reason being what you had is over and now the healing can take place.  This is a process that includes forgiving your partner as well as yourself and learning to manage your ego.

Contrary to public opinion it does not have to take a long time to be able to forgive. However, as long as people cling to their pain they are anchored in the past and are not be able to live in the present. Being present is the key to love and peace.  We have all heard that the past is over, the future has not happened yet, and now is all we have. That is why the present is a gift.  Well those words are true.  The way one gets from having pain and living in the past to erasing the pain and living in the present is through forgiveness.

What is required to heal, is a change of attitude in your heart, mind, and soul.   As soon as that happens, just like a switch being turned on you will see the light. True forgiveness gets rid of all the pain.  It allows for love and peace to enter. Where there was once negative energy now positive energy can enter. This will change your entire mindset.

Speaking of mindset, the way to stay in a peaceful and happy state  is to manage your ego. To do this you need to become aware when your ego starts stirring up emotions inside.  During these moments it is common to feel something going on in the body.  It may feel subtle like butterflies in your tummy or or it could pronounced like the onset of acid reflux, but what it is, is your ego waking up and starting to take control.  The best way to keep that from happening is to be present enough that at the moment you realize their is an emotional feeling stirring you recognize it.  Just the knowing that the ego wants to unleash itself, is enough that you actually remove its power. Think of the feeling as an alarm clock or light switch and turn it off.

So now you have gone from dwelling in the past, to living in the present and can live the life you deserve. A life of love and peace.

Remember that having pent up anger, frustration, and other emotions hidden in the confines of your heart serves no purpose and is like carrying  around old emotional baggage. As long as it is in your heart it will recreate itself as often as possible and affect your behavior, and happiness.  When you recognize what you felt (past) and are able to let it go, surrender to what is real (now), and  not give in to what exists in your mind of what if’s….. (Future),  you will be in control of your life and emotions.

Rather than live in a shallow pool of negativity, dive deep into the ocean of hope and possibility. When your heart is full of love and peace it attracts the same thing.  When you love yourself, it shows and serves to attract love. So rather then feel down that your relationship as ended.  Celebrate it for the good times, and move on.  Know that when your ready, someone new will come into your life.

 

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