Ending a relationship is not like going to the dentist where you typically get a shot to cover the pain, and an hour later walk out smiling. Its not like doing the end of year tax returns where you night be inclined to drink a shot to cover the pain. It is the dark night that precedes the dawn.  All humor aside what I want to share is that it is better to accept that what you had is over than it is to live an unhappy life.

I have heard several reasons why people stay in relationships that are not working; because they Know what to expect, the devil they know is better than the one they don’t, they are afraid of being alone, and they don’t feel comfortable entering the dating scene.  Seems to me these people are surviving not really living.   To be alive is to feel vital, to be a part of something, to have passion, to feel wanted, and to welcome the coming of another day.

So how to deal with ending a relationship.  This is what I did.  I accepted it.  I accepted responsibility for my part, forgave myself for the mistakes I made, the things I did wrong, and the things I did not do.  I also forgave my partner for any and all pain caused. I realized that the past is over, and all that really matters is now.  So I decided to clean out my heart.  Turns out it is a lot like cleaning a closet.  There were some things I had to get rid of as well as others I needed to brush off and put back on the shelf. In the end all the things that were no longer useful to my life were removed. As it happened this created space to let light, love, peace, and tranquility enter and I am much better for it.

My advice for others having turmoil in their relationship is to face it, deal with it, pass through it, and rediscover your vitality and enthusiasm for life. Who knows you might save the relationship in the process.  If not, your certainly saving yourself from a life of just going through the motions.  Either way your better off.

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