Archives for category: self help

turtle 1

Do you think turtles get mad and want to yell.  Can you imagine what this turtle encountered to make it beach itself and scream. Turtles after all live underwater along the reefs and rocky shoreline. What ever caused this Turtle to behave like this  must have been terrifying. People have a tendency to think the worst, but what if you you changed that thinking and thought the turtle was laughing cause he just heard the funny joke about what one sea shell said to another…..  Or, perhaps the turtle is getting ready to take a nap on the beach and I just was there at the right moment to see him yawn.

So while there is one picture, there are several different possibilities as to what the story is.

This is an example of how we can interpret a situation by a visual cue that is likely biased to our individual mindsets. It could also be that people can hear words being spoken and receive a meaning different from what the sender was trying to communicate.  This could be do to many factors.  Two examples are if english is a second language  or your listening to someone speak with an accent.  it is very easy to understand just enough that you assume things.  This is where problems start.  You cannot ever know what is in someone else’s head, so assuming you do is really a waste of time and energy.

The way to find out what is going on with another person is to talk to them.  Ask questions, be present when they answer, by this I mean pay attention.  Don’t look at your watch every few minutes.   Maintain face to face contact. Invest your attention on the other person and that effort will produce effective communication.

Now, as for the turtle it was late afternoon and it wanted to haul out for a nice rest. I was just lucky to be able capture it yawning.

Take care everyone!

Some people seem to always have a drama going on.  They go from one crisis to another and do not seem happy unless they are dealing with problems. Other people have realized that they could be right or they could be happy.  These folks make the choice not to let the little things bother them.  They have learned that being happy and not caring around ego and negative emotion allows them to stay in a positive and grateful mindset.  This is where living with love and peace becomes a way of life.  This image was created by Douglas Hoffman

Image

Are you stuck in  relationship or job thats join nowhere?  Why do you stay?  Is it because the evil you know is better than the evil you don’t? Or is it that your afraid of rejection or that you won’t find something better?  Sometimes a low self esteem is what blocks us.  Somehow we feel that were no worthy of a better relationship or job. Other times it’s that you’ve been in it for so long you are comfortable even though not 100% content.  Whatever the reason, what is holding you back is you.  You need to change that in order to succeed & thrive.

Old Man Wisdom cruising over the reef.

Old Man Wisdom cruising over the reef.

Yes, this seems easier said than done.  However once you make a decision and are committed to it, change can be empowering and make you feel good.   After all your taking action to improve your situation.  Where energy flows, results often show.  So embrace the changes that you know need to be made to enable you to live the life you desire.  The process takes time and energy but it does work and you can create the life of your dreams. Some the things you will go through will not be fun. However they will pass and in the end you remain.

This turtle image was provided by Douglas Hoffman.

So there I was sitting in the back yard talking on the phone. The wind was blowing and my attention went up towards the limbs of the mango tree I was under. At that moment  I saw the spider.  I had a choice to react with fear or not.  I could have simply killed it, as that would have removed the threat.  Instead, I decided to face my fear and let it pass through me. Once I did that I saw the spider in a different light.  I watched the spider ride out the wind in the safety of its web. The web while made up of  many thin strands was up to the task and it jerked in the wind but the spider held fast.

I have no idea if the spider was simply riding out the wind so it could repair bits of the web if the wind somehow managed to damage it, or if the spider was using the wind to catch prey in the web.  What did occur to me was that the spider just wanted to live. It wanted security, food, and perhaps a mate to share the tree with and raise little spiders.   And so a transformation occurred I no longer was afraid of the spider, now I had compassion for it.

Fear is not the enemy but really a friend telling you what you have to face and pass through

The spider is no doubt creepy.  But it is serves as a good metaphor for those things in life that cause us fear. Once we face our fears all that remains is us.  We have the ability to look at things and situations in a different light.  We can make decisions based on information rather than emotion and this serves our higher sense of purpose.

Sunrise baby beach1.1

Life circumstances can sometimes cloud our emotional state. It take effort and the ability to rise above the past and be present in the moment.  When you do you can see the simple pleasure and joy of just being.  Life is such a gift.   Don’t give up, rather look around and see the beauty that surrounds you!

 

Image provided by Maui Photo Tours and Workshops

 

Sometimes life circumstance creates stress, pressure, and self doubt.  When this happens take a self inventory.   Write down all that is good in your life.  All that you are grateful for and what qualities you have that you like.  Then write down all that is wrong.  Then compare the list.  Once done you will likely find out there is more good than bad.  You will also see the areas you need to concentrate on.  This will help you get moving forward.

Have a great day everyone!Image

 

 

Life, love, relationships, and friendship are elements of life that give us purpose, a sense of belonging, and fulfillment.  But, life circumstances change.  Relationships sometimes end, and for that matter friendships  too.   When this happens sometimes people are hateful, resentful, jealous, angry, hurt, rejected, and they might say or do things that cause you pause.

You have a choice when this happens.  You can internalize these actions and words and allow them to have power over you, which causes  negative feelings and emotions.  This will affect how you feel about yourself and others and will bog you down.   It is not easy to accept people as they are, not pass judgement, and forgive others as well as yourself for the pain, rejection, and anguish you feel. But, that is what is required for you to live with love and peace.

We all deserve to be happy and enjoy life.  But we can’t do that if we allow others to control our emotions and state of mind.  All we can do is control our emotions and outlook in life.

Someone once said you could be right or you can be happy but you can’t always be both.   I would rather forgive others for what they do, than spend energy resenting others for causing me pain. In this way, I control how happy I am.  The more I practice living in peace the happier I am.

I’m not suggesting that you just turn the other cheek, let others walk over you.  Not at all.  The point is that your in control and whatever people say or do does not need to change your mindset.  If you remove the emotion, anger, resentment, rejection, feeling of lack from a situation all that is left is you. From that point you can communicate and share your thoughts in a manner that is constructive.   If the other people involved react differently so be it.  You can not control how others feel.   Don’t let it get you down.

 

Peaceful beach in Maui

Peaceful beach in Maui

 

Image provided by Douglas Hoffman

Someone once said that the only thing that is consistent is that things change.   For some reason people resist change.  Nevertheless change comes. It occurs in the work place, in relationships, in life, and in your heart.  The longer were alive the more lessons we learn, and that is a good thing.   If I only knew then what I knew now…..  Remember what you resist tends to persist.

If changing your thinking, feeling, goals, e.t.c.., will improve your life  – embrace the change and accept the challenges that lie ahead.  You will be happier.

Wishing you all love and Peace.

 

Magical Maui Sunset

Magical Maui Sunset

 

This image provided by Maui Photography Inc.

There has never been a better time to make things happen.  Rather than just go through the repetition of daily life, create the life you want in your mind and envision it. Believe in it. Each day take at least one action to help pave the way to get the life you want.  Where your mindset takes you, results will show and you will achieve it.  This kind of positive attitude and energy attacks like energy.

If you want a new relationship prepare for it in your mind and heart, then take some action to make it happen.  This could be anything from signing up to take a class, volunteering at a charity that you like, joining a club or group that you have an interest in. You might even consider joining match.com or other popular online dating services.  The point is to make it possible to meet people.

If you are in a relationship that is going nowhere, but you feel its better than the unknown, then you might want to consider facing the issues and dealing with them, or ending the relationship so that you can thrive.  Divorce is scary, but fear is the mind killer.   Face the fear and all that is left is you.   Sometimes long term relationships don’t work.   It’s sad but true.  The reality is that you don’t have to settle for less than you want or deserve.

If your a parent make this the year you spend quality time just being with your children. They grow so fast and soon enough are gone.   Make the most of it.  Give them your time and love and they will grow up well.

If you have an idea for a business.   Explore it.  Do the leg work.  You will never know if it is a great idea unless you do the research.  If you get a set back accept it and then determine how to get around it.   If your passionate and determined there is no obstacle you can’t overcome.

Life is for believing, creating, contributing,  loving, and enjoying.  Life is a blessing and not a curse. So for it!

Wishing you all love and peace….

the path to peace

the path to peace

 

This photo was provided by Maui Photo Tours and Douglas Hoffman.

It is all to easy to get caught up in the moment of everyday life circumstance and think about what is not going well in your life. These people are living with a negative mindset. I bet that everyone reading this knows someone that is quick to blame others or get angry.  This is because placing blame rather than accepting what is real has become commonplace.  All too many people just go through the motions of living and do not actively participate in life. These people are living in a way that their past pain and circumstances influence the current life situation.

When people take responsibility for their own happiness and quality of life they accept their life circumstances, realize they cant control what others do but can control what they do, and how they feel. This is called living in the present moment and it provides a level of clarity which allows them to live in peace.  These people tend to think about what is going well in their life and have a positive mindset. When problems arise they work through them, and move on.  They do not dwell on the negative nor do they harbor animosity towards others.

I am not suggesting that people who have a positive attitude wont face challenges. Every human being alive has problems, issues, painful memories, expectations that were not met, e.t.c.  What I am saying is that a person with a positive mindset does not let these life circumstances make them hostile or angry.  They do not blame others but accept what is going on, then move on to resolve the situation.

So how does one get from living in the past and blaming others for things that occur in daily life to one who is living in the present and accepts what is going on now. The answers lie inside you.

What has worked for many people is to start meditating on a daily basis.  This helps clear the mind and heart.  Investing time to look inside and clean house enables you to remove negative emotions & painful memories. Accepting what has happened, and forgiving yourself and all those concerned is crucial to the process.   This acts as a giant eraser and removes all that stored negativity.  In that space you can now put in love and positive energy.

This sounds like a daunting exercise but once you start you will find that your feelings, attitudes, and behavior changes and before you no it you have transported yourself from past pain to living with love and peace in the present.

I went through this process in 2012, and it the result is a happier me. If I can do it.  Everybody can do it. So if your reading this and realize you have a negative mindset and want to change go for it.  You have nothing to lose but negativity and past pain.