Archives for posts with tag: anger management

Some people seem to always have a drama going on.  They go from one crisis to another and do not seem happy unless they are dealing with problems. Other people have realized that they could be right or they could be happy.  These folks make the choice not to let the little things bother them.  They have learned that being happy and not caring around ego and negative emotion allows them to stay in a positive and grateful mindset.  This is where living with love and peace becomes a way of life.  This image was created by Douglas Hoffman

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Sunrise baby beach1.1

Life circumstances can sometimes cloud our emotional state. It take effort and the ability to rise above the past and be present in the moment.  When you do you can see the simple pleasure and joy of just being.  Life is such a gift.   Don’t give up, rather look around and see the beauty that surrounds you!

 

Image provided by Maui Photo Tours and Workshops

 

Life, love, relationships, and friendship are elements of life that give us purpose, a sense of belonging, and fulfillment.  But, life circumstances change.  Relationships sometimes end, and for that matter friendships  too.   When this happens sometimes people are hateful, resentful, jealous, angry, hurt, rejected, and they might say or do things that cause you pause.

You have a choice when this happens.  You can internalize these actions and words and allow them to have power over you, which causes  negative feelings and emotions.  This will affect how you feel about yourself and others and will bog you down.   It is not easy to accept people as they are, not pass judgement, and forgive others as well as yourself for the pain, rejection, and anguish you feel. But, that is what is required for you to live with love and peace.

We all deserve to be happy and enjoy life.  But we can’t do that if we allow others to control our emotions and state of mind.  All we can do is control our emotions and outlook in life.

Someone once said you could be right or you can be happy but you can’t always be both.   I would rather forgive others for what they do, than spend energy resenting others for causing me pain. In this way, I control how happy I am.  The more I practice living in peace the happier I am.

I’m not suggesting that you just turn the other cheek, let others walk over you.  Not at all.  The point is that your in control and whatever people say or do does not need to change your mindset.  If you remove the emotion, anger, resentment, rejection, feeling of lack from a situation all that is left is you. From that point you can communicate and share your thoughts in a manner that is constructive.   If the other people involved react differently so be it.  You can not control how others feel.   Don’t let it get you down.

 

Peaceful beach in Maui

Peaceful beach in Maui

 

Image provided by Douglas Hoffman

It is a new day and new year and with it comes new energy. There has never been a better time than now.   The past is over and the future has not yet arrived. All there really is – is now. So now is the time to look around and take stock of your blessings.

Do not give time to what is lacking, or how you failed  in your life. That kind of thinking will only bring you more of the same.  That is because what you think about tends to show up. Its one of those seldom known universal laws.  That said, the more you maintain a positive mindset the more good things will show up in your life circumstance.

Happy new year everyone!

Today spend some time cleaning your room and house.  Get rid of things that don’t use or need anymore.  Lighten your load.  Give old clothes and household items to the less fortunate people in your community. There are people out there with less than you, and they will appreciate your kindness and generosity. Remember giving without expectation of return is true charity.

Do the same thing with yourself.  Take some time to look inside your heart.  Throw away the memories and pain that does not serve you. Why take the past into the coming year. Just let it go.  Acknowledge those feelings and then discard them.  There is no reason to store them anymore.

In this way you can start the new year fresh, and with a new perspective and outlook. You are now in a positive mindset and living with love and peace

I know this works because I have done it. As a result I am much happier, and grateful for all that I have.  I and all those around me notice the difference in my outlook, attitude, and behavior.  If I can do this I know everyone can do it too.  So if your house is a mess – clean it up!  You will be glad you did.

waterfall

The water in this river flows from point A to B.  Along the way it passes through calm periods, and rapids.  Life is the same way.  We have periods where everything seems to go smooth, then other times when problems are ever-present  This is the nature of life.

On the river there are places called holes.  This where a small body of water stops flowing and stays in one place.  There are often currents that spin the water round and round called eddies.   Other times the current stops and the water just stands and stagnates.  This is another good metaphor that explains life.  Sometimes we get stuck in a rut and we seem to go nowhere. Only by changing our state of mind, how we feel, and how we interact with others can we get unstuck, and move forward on our journey.

Just like the river has rocks and obstacles, so do we.  We have speed bumps, work and relationship issues, financial worries, health issues, and community problems that rise up from out of nowhere.  By facing these issues and working through them, the dissipate and lead us into periods of calm, beauty, and love.

When you find yourself in a situation where another person seems to be getting you upset. Remember only you can control your emotions.  Why give them the satisfaction of ruining your bliss.  Happiness comes from inside and is not a result of what others do or say.

There are people that are frustrated, discourteous, rude, selfish, full of hate, and anger. When these people come into my proximity, I used to pick up on their feelings and soon I felt them too.  I did not like the way I felt and decided to manage my feelings.  I realized I could not be responsible for other peoples behavior but I could manage mine.

So I decided that when someone acted in a way that affected my happiness I would change the way I see them as well as hear them.  I envisioned their heads changing shapes into a watermelon, raisin, and even a rat. I changed their voice to into a cartoon character.  Depending on the person I chose the voice  of the teacher from the old Charlie Brown cartoon, or the voice of  the dog in the Scooby Doo cartoon.  As a result nothing these people say bothers me, and I just smile.  My happiness remains, and that helps me live with love and peace.

So I invite you to try this idea, and think of things that make you smile. It just might help you manage your anger too.

Be thankful for getting frustrated.  Recognize the emotions you feel and let them pass through.  Things happen and its normal to feel anger and frustration.  Be thankful when these feelings come up as it is an opportunity to overcome them and live with peace and love. Smile when someone does something that bothers you. Being frustrated or mad wont solve the problem and only serve to feed the ego. This is negative thinking, and to  be happy you cant afford to be negative.  Look for the positive in every situation, and live with positivity.

There are times when a person shows no respect and does something you dont like.  When this happens its ok to think a negative thought, but its important not to let it make you negative.  See it for what it is and let it go.  Dont let that negative emotion dwell within you for if you do you lose the ability to be happy and at peace. You cant control the behavior and actions of others but it is within your ability not to let it affect you or your disposition.  Negative feelings and thoughts only promote more negativity.  So see the behavior, recognize it, and move on.  If you feel the need to react try to remember to do it with a positive feeling.

For example lets say you experience road rage.  You can say to yourself or others how rude the behavior was and then remember to think, feel, or say…. perhaps the person was having a very bad day, but you dont have to. Remember that as long as you arrive safely at your destination all is good. Staying in a positive state of mind will help you to stay happy and healthy while allowing yourself to dwell in negativity only invites more negativity in to your life.  Besides taking away your happiness and peace of mind, negativity invites sickness into your life.  So dont get angry and let others behavior bring you down.

“Your attitude controls you altitude”.