Archives for posts with tag: ego

There are many definitions of freedom.  Having the right to vote, practice religion, e.t.c…  Perhaps just as important but seldom spoke of is not caring what other people think about you.  We can’t control what other people do, say, and think, so why let it cause frustration and anxiety.  Why let ego create drama and turmoil in our minds and relationships, when we can just accept people are free to think what they will. We don’t have to like it, but in order to live with love, peace, and happiness rather than anger, frustrations, and resentment we need to accept it.

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Sunrise baby beach1.1

Life circumstances can sometimes cloud our emotional state. It take effort and the ability to rise above the past and be present in the moment.  When you do you can see the simple pleasure and joy of just being.  Life is such a gift.   Don’t give up, rather look around and see the beauty that surrounds you!

 

Image provided by Maui Photo Tours and Workshops

 

Life, love, relationships, and friendship are elements of life that give us purpose, a sense of belonging, and fulfillment.  But, life circumstances change.  Relationships sometimes end, and for that matter friendships  too.   When this happens sometimes people are hateful, resentful, jealous, angry, hurt, rejected, and they might say or do things that cause you pause.

You have a choice when this happens.  You can internalize these actions and words and allow them to have power over you, which causes  negative feelings and emotions.  This will affect how you feel about yourself and others and will bog you down.   It is not easy to accept people as they are, not pass judgement, and forgive others as well as yourself for the pain, rejection, and anguish you feel. But, that is what is required for you to live with love and peace.

We all deserve to be happy and enjoy life.  But we can’t do that if we allow others to control our emotions and state of mind.  All we can do is control our emotions and outlook in life.

Someone once said you could be right or you can be happy but you can’t always be both.   I would rather forgive others for what they do, than spend energy resenting others for causing me pain. In this way, I control how happy I am.  The more I practice living in peace the happier I am.

I’m not suggesting that you just turn the other cheek, let others walk over you.  Not at all.  The point is that your in control and whatever people say or do does not need to change your mindset.  If you remove the emotion, anger, resentment, rejection, feeling of lack from a situation all that is left is you. From that point you can communicate and share your thoughts in a manner that is constructive.   If the other people involved react differently so be it.  You can not control how others feel.   Don’t let it get you down.

 

Peaceful beach in Maui

Peaceful beach in Maui

 

Image provided by Douglas Hoffman

Today spend some time cleaning your room and house.  Get rid of things that don’t use or need anymore.  Lighten your load.  Give old clothes and household items to the less fortunate people in your community. There are people out there with less than you, and they will appreciate your kindness and generosity. Remember giving without expectation of return is true charity.

Do the same thing with yourself.  Take some time to look inside your heart.  Throw away the memories and pain that does not serve you. Why take the past into the coming year. Just let it go.  Acknowledge those feelings and then discard them.  There is no reason to store them anymore.

In this way you can start the new year fresh, and with a new perspective and outlook. You are now in a positive mindset and living with love and peace

I know this works because I have done it. As a result I am much happier, and grateful for all that I have.  I and all those around me notice the difference in my outlook, attitude, and behavior.  If I can do this I know everyone can do it too.  So if your house is a mess – clean it up!  You will be glad you did.

flower 2 for blog Mother nature has created countless forms of beauty, like this flower.  While in bloom now it wont stay this way for long as it continues its life cycle of rejuvenation and growth.  So take a moment to enjoy the color and texture because it does not last.  But it does return.

This is a good life lesson for humans as we too have periods of growth, rebirth, and rejuvenation. There are storms that threaten the flower, and sunny days that nurture it.   Change is constant, and we must embrace not only the moment now, but the things to come.

Everyone has problems, that is a part of life.  We have periods of joy, sadness, love, pain, acceptance, rejection, and peace of mind.  By taking a moment to enjoy and appreciate the beauty in life, like this flower, we can shift our attitude and focus  and experience gratitude, compassion, and maintain a positive attitude regardless of what storms arise.

Remember you attitude controls your altitude.

So regardless of your life circumstances now, take a moment to enjoy the good things that are ever-presant in your life and often times overlooked.

Wishing you all a great day full of love and peace……..

flowershadowfor bolgLife contains periods of light and darkness. Mixed in among them are the shadows.   Photographers and artists love the shadows as it is the shadows that create contrast, dimension, depth, feeling, and emotion in paintings and photographs.  They are key elements to effective story telling.

Shadows have another meaning when thinking about the ego, human behavior, and emotions.   In this sense there are feelings, and emotions stored inside, that may affect how you deal with and respond to what is happening in your current life experience. These are hidden emotions  which can be the catalyst that promote self doubt, lack of confidence, anger, resentment, poor decision making, e.t.c..  The good news is that if we are aware and living in the moment, shadows serve to help us recognize our emotions stirring.

Recognizing these feelings as they are happening provides us the opportunity to deal with our issues in a positive manner serving the needs of everyone involved.  The alternative is to let the emotions inside awaken the ego and allow it to take control. When this happens things are often said and done in reaction without having taken a moment to think things through.

Sometimes a situation presents itself where you have to make a choice.  You can let something go and be happy.  Or you can be right and end up being unhappy.  This is true for relationships, business, raising children, and how you think.   In this last example, I am referring to self esteem, state of mind, and positive thinking.

If you think your going to fail at something, you are programming your self not to succeed. If you think think your not worthy of getting a promotion, you will probably wont.  At the same time if you think you can achieve your goals you will.   How you feel about yourself will set off a chain of events that will follow your mindset and inner beliefs.  How you perceive yourself  affects the outcome of all your endeavors.  So you can set yourself up to succeed or fail.  The choice is yours.

If you think your not worthy of having a relationship, guess what your relationship will crumble.  So in a sense you will be right, but will you be happy.  What I am suggesting is that it is better to be happy than to be right.   Everyone is worthy of having a relationship, of getting the promotion.  But it requires belief in yourself and having self esteem.

If you lack self esteem rather than look back at what you have done wrong or failed to do.  Look back at all the things you have succeeded at and draw from that. It could be as simple as winning a chess game, or having had one incredible sale at work, or the time you dated someone special.

Another example is how you relate to people that have done you wrong.  As an example, when I was detained in in a third world country, a man kept stealing from me.  I knew he did it, in fact he even admitted doing it, all the while with a big grin on his face.  He had no respect for me.  I had the choice.  I could be right and tell on him or get in his face or even resort to violence, but what would that accomplish.  I would be right but would I be happy.  Violence is never a good option and more harm comes from it. If I went to the authorities, I would be right but what of the ramifications that would certainly come back to me. I am not saying that it is better to just let others walk over you. In this situation I felt it best to just let it go and surrender to what is.   The result is that my anger went away and I was happy. I knew that my time in that place would come to an end and these problems were not life threatening.  And, I remembered the saying that this too shall pass.  I also realized that I could not change this persons behavior, nor did I want to try. We each have to follow our own paths and in this case I chose the way of less resistance and hostility. I am happy that the problems did not get out of hand.

I am sure those of you reading this have had situations arise that that you had to make a choice to be right or to be happy.  IF your willing to share your experience, I would love to read about it.

After a daunting rain, a rainbow appears and brings with it beauty and inspiration.  People experience turbulent times but they pass and its wake comes peace and happiness. Thus is the rhythm of life.  If not fo th hard times, good times would not be cherished or appreciated. If not for the mistakes people make thee would be ignorance as it is through mistakes that we learn, grow, & understand that life is joyous. True richness emanates from love that exists within all of us.

Everyone at some point exercises poor judgement and makes bad decisions. Some are expensive in terms of finances or emotional turmoil. It is the people that are present enough to look within themselves, as opposed to outside that are able to learn forgiveness that profit from all their life experiences.

Surrender, letting go, and forgiveness are not easy lessons to master.  This is because they carry such a negative charge, and a state of mind that feeds the ego.  Those that are blind to the power of the ego cannot see that their actions and behavior are not self serving but are destructive qualities that serve no purpose. Many of these people suffer from a victim mentality and if they could somehow reach beyond it could end their own misery.

life is meant to be wonderful just like a rainbow after the rain.  We should encourage all people to look within themselves in order to see the full spectrum of life.  I this way everyone could live with love and peace and deal positively with all of lifes circumstances.

 

A few hundred years ago, the colonies went to war for Americans to have freedom.   People were tired of suffering from the tyranny of England.  Americans wanted the freedom to choose religion, elect their leaders, and wanted to dictate their own policies, and political practices, and taxes.

Since then the concept of living free has been the cornerstone of the American mindset.  Songs have been written like Born Free, Home on the Range exemplify this.  Today Americans are free to live where ever they choose, do the work they work they want, practice the religion of their choice, wear the clothes and fashion styles they desire, and serve in the military if they so choose, and practice the religion of their choice.  Basically Americans are free to make their own decisions.  But what about inner freedom?

I look around and see many people that are angry, and not satisfied in their work, marriage, relationships, or financial situation.  Just driving the down the highway it’s easy to see people feeling road  rage.  It occurred to me that all people want to arrive at their destinations safely, be in happy fulfilled relationships, love their work, and feel secure that they can pay the bills. But something is getting in the way.

Perhaps it is because they are not free on the inside.  So many people are just going through the motions of life and are not in tune with them selves.  Rather than be happy they carry past pain and suffering in the hearts and allow their emotions and ego to control their actions, reactions, and behavior. If people invested  time looking within themselves in order to control their emotions, learn patience, and surrender, live in the present moment they would no longer be numb to the real joy of living and of being happy.

We did not fight for freedom all those years ago, so that today we could mad at the world.  No the idea was to be free in order to live a life of love and peace.

Many people around the world have seen the movie about a fish named Nemo.   For some reason the movie entered my mind while taking a walk this morning.  It occurred to me that Nemo, started life living free.  Not long after being born he suffered the loss of his mother and was raised by his loving father. While growing up Nemo received a lot of love, but at the same time his father was a bit over protective as he  feared losing Nemo.  But as any child grows eventually they feel a need to test their boundaries and explore their world. While doing so, Nemo made mistakes and one of them was to be captured and whisked away to live to in a small fish take. As his freedom was taken away the little fish did not give up hope, and knew one day he would regain his rightful freedom.

Nemos father was heart broken, and felt guilty, but nevertheless he was determined to find his son.  He had an incredible amount of faith, hope, and belief. So he set out to find Nemo.  During the journey he encountered many dangers, trials and tribulations. But he was relentless in his goal. Sure enough his patience and dedication paid off and indeed he was reunited with his son.

It occurred to me that besides being a great film, there were were many metaphors that be can applied to real life.  Many children grow up experienceing emotion pain, and loss, feelings of separation, anger, frustration, stress, anxiety, and low level of self esteem . These negative emotions tend to find a home in ones ego and come back to haunt them later in life.  But it is possible to overcome negative emotions and pain from the past by forgiveness, acceptance, and living in the moment. As one overcomes these problems, they develop a high sens of self esteem and are able to go out into the world and let their creativity, skill, talent, and love of life shine.  Maintaining a strong sense of hope, belief, and faith enable one to set and achieve goals and not succumb to peer and social pressures.

All humans make mistakes.  That is part of our nature and how we learn.  Nemo made a mistake but he was not identified by them.  He learned from them and is known for his good heart, faith in himself, hope, and love.  The same is true for us.  We are not our mistakes but rather the essence of what is in our heart, souls, internal beliefs, and values.While Nemo experienced doubt and fear, he did not let that rule his life.  Neither should we.

So this little fish teaches us all many valuable life  lessons an enables us to live a life of love and peace.