Archives for posts with tag: frustration
Flowers make people feel

Flowers make people feel

Enjoy the moments of everyday life.

Enjoy the moments of everyday life.

Where ever you are at and what ever your going through at this moment is your life circumstance. It is in the present moment and happening now.  What happened last week, month or year is over.  What will happen next week, month, or year is in the future and has not happened yet.  So let go of the past you cant change it.  Don’t worry about the future because you can’t control it. Enjoy the moment.  Make the most of it.

If your angry release it,  If your frustrated or anxious, let the emotion pass through you.  If your happy and at peace mirror the feeling in your  actions.  Spread the joy.  Other people will see you happy and want what you have. The good news is there is enough happiness for everyone.

When we are at peace, our body gives off a higher vibration that is felt throughout the universe.  The effect it has is to bring you more happiness.   The opposite is also true. If your angry it will be apparent and others will catch the emotion like a cold and spread it through the universe, and you in turn will get more negativity in your life.

So make the decision to be happy.  The world will be a better place if you do.

Sunrise baby beach1.1

Life circumstances can sometimes cloud our emotional state. It take effort and the ability to rise above the past and be present in the moment.  When you do you can see the simple pleasure and joy of just being.  Life is such a gift.   Don’t give up, rather look around and see the beauty that surrounds you!

 

Image provided by Maui Photo Tours and Workshops

 

We all have life situations that arise that cause feelings of anxiety, anguish, and frustration.  These emotions are part of life. They do not need to cause us to feel bad. But all to often they do.

Over the last few months, I have been told time and time again that something would happen that would improve my current situation.  As it turns out these have been nothing but false and empty promises.  As a result, I started to feel let down, and upset.   Then I realized that only I can control my state of mind and level of happiness. I did not want this negativity lingering any longer, so I made the decision to let it go.

I have accepted that things will not improve in the timeline I want, but I know they will improve because I have faith, belief, and the knowledge that all problems pass.  In letting go, a weight was lifted and my state of mind improved.

Everyone can apply this type of acceptance to their own situation and life circumstance. By letting  go, you might not get what you want when you want it but you can be happy and at peace.

 

Have you ever watched a drop of water fall into a pool?  As it hits the surface it disappears and in its place ripples extend outward.  What once was a single drop is now a series of ever expanding rings. It’s a bit like a domino effect.

On a larger scale an underwater earthquake creates a tremendous amount of energy that often turns into a tsunami.  This is a large wave that powerful and travels as fast as five hundred miles an hour and travels vast distances where it drastically meets land.  In its wake is massive destruction of property and life.

In a similar way emotions can have the same effect.  When we experience something, we feel it. This is like the ripple caused by the drop of water. The emotion is felt in our bodies, mind, and soul.  This is true for positive and negative feelings. If were able to process the feelings and let them go little if any damage is done.

However, in the case of negative emotions like lack, fear, abandonment, rejection, and anger if were not able to process the feelings and let them pass through, the negativity is stored and sooner or later the tsunami comes and destroys our spirit, state of mind, and relationships. In this case the tsunami is actually our ego and it can be our own worst enemy.

The human ego feeds on negativity and loves to use it to control our actions and behavior whether we realize it or not. When something negative happens the stored energy erupts like a volcano and creates disharmony. Without realizing what is really happening we often lash out at the people that mean the most to us. The results can be devastating.  Relationships between parents and children, lovers, spouses and co-workers can be ruined beyond repair.

There is a way to avoid the cataclysmic events, and it is to manage ones emotions and feelings. This involves making a conscious effort to forgive yourself and others, to accept others feelings even if they are different from yours, to surrender to what is going on, and to stay present in the moment.

Accepting the situation is not giving up.  It is acknowledging that you can’t control the feelings and behavior of others.  That said you can control how you feel and act. This requires practice and patience. The ego is sneaky and will arise when you don’t expect it just like an earthquake. You will feel it coming to life as a stirring in your stomach.  This is the time to acknowledge it’s presence and say to yourself thank you and so long.  Once aware your ego is acting up, your living in the present moment and the ego cant function there. It lives with past pain and emotion and does not exist in the now.

If you make the decision to live with love and peace then you will not succumb to the power of the ego. But if you live with a lot of emotional baggage in your heart, sooner or later the tsunami will come.  The choice is yours.

Why let other people dictate your state of mind?  When you have expectations from others often times you will be disappointed.  You cant control what other people, think, say, or do, but you can control what you do, think, and feel.  So do yourself a favor and think happy thoughts, and this will create a mindset of happiness.  Start each day by reminding yourself of all the good thinks you have in your life, end each day by thinking about what you are grateful for.  These two things will help shape your attitude.

It is all to easy for us to think about what is wrong with our individual realities. When we do this we dwell in a pool of negativity.  My relationship with my spouse is in turmoil, my finances are a mess, my health is poor, my job does not satisfy me, and the list goes on.

When we make the effort to think about all the aspects of our lives that are good, we put ourselves in the mindset of positivity.  This is the space we need to be in to live with joy, peace, tranquility, understanding, acceptance, and allows us to set goals, and work toward them.

For example, I am getting divorced.  Rather than dwell on the negative emotions that come up,and they do, I choose to think forward in that I know once the process is over both my spouse and I will be able to move on with our lives and live with love and peace. We will put aside our differences and concentrate on doing what is best for our kids.

I am making a conscious decision to be happy and not live with negativity.  I do not want to carry around a bundle of negativity on my back as I go through each day. I want to thrive and feel vital.

Everyone can do this as it is not rocket science.  It is a matter of attitude and desire.   As I write this I am thinking of the old charlie brown cartoon and the kid that drags around the old stinky blanket and has clouds of dust following him everywhere.

Wishing you all a great day, filled with love and peace.

Can you imagine that in a single instant all that you love is taken away.  Your freedom, your family, your career, your money, your wife or husband, your children, your passion, your joy, your fun, your health, & your reputation gone in the blink of an eye. It sounds like a nightmare doesn’t it. But sadly it can and does happen every day. All over the world people are stricken with disease, or put in prison regardless of guilt.

What would you do?  How would you live. Would you be angry, resentful, scared, anxious.  Would you be able to forgive yourself or others? Would you be able to find joy in just being alive? How would you cope with all you have lost?

Could you learn to tolerate living in close proximity with murderers, rapists, human traffickers, thieves as well as rats, mice, mosquitoes, and spiders? Could you handle being surrounded by people that speak a foreign language, or the feeling of being all alone? How would you adapt to living behind bars never seeing the sun, stars, or moon, eating only rice and gruel,  being confined to a small cell,  not being allowed to call loved ones, not playing with your children?

Would you reject god as a result of your circumstance. Would anger and contempt fill your heart and days? Or, would you embrace god, and look within to find faith, hope, forgiveness, acceptance, and love?  Would you make peace with yourself and loved ones? Would you be able to resolve long standing conflicts or would you take those feelings to the grave?

These are hard questions, yet the answers are even harder. They require one to be very conscious and think beyond their ego and mind by using their heart.  It would be all too easy to blame others or even God.  Or, say to one’s self there is no God because a good God would never put me in this situation.

These are questions I have had to answer.  I was detained and am not able to share the details. However, I can say that I realized that what happened to me was not the end of my life but actually the beginning. I was given the opportunity to get my life in order. So, I decided to make the most of my time and rediscover my true self.

I wrote this entry not to recant my life story but rather to inspire people to think about life and how to live with love and peace. So how would you feel if you lost everything in the blink of an eye?  What would you do?

Many people are afraid of change. They are happy with the status quo and do not want to test unchartered waters.  They know the problems they have, and think it’s better to deal with is known rather than the unknown.    Sound familiar?
The truth is that without change we stagnate.  Doing the same ol same ol, is like going in circles.  You are busy doing, but never arriving, and always end up right where you started.  That is hardly a recipe for success or a fulfilled life. In a way it is like living in the past.  The personal and emotional  issues you have are like a still pool that lies adjacent to a flowing river.
The truth is people need to grow to thrive.  That does not mean one should plunder ahead with care free abandon. Rather it means one should evaluate where they have been, where they are now, and where they want to be.
So take some time and look backwards.  Determine what action, behavior, and attitudes you have that work, as well as those that don’t.  Keep the things that serve you and get rid of the things that don’t.  In some cases past pain might be lingering in your heart and subconscious mind and these emotions resurface when you get angry, frustrated, let down, rejected, disrespected, feel loss or lack, e.t.c.. This can only impact your current relationships in a negative way.
Remembering the events that caused the painful memories is the first step to letting them go. As the memories surface, recognize them, thank them, then release them.  This means you must forgive yourself and or the persons that caused the pain in the first place. We all experience these emotions as they are part of what it is to be human. That does not mean we need to hold on to them.
Once the negative emotional baggage is gone there is space for positive emotions and memories to enter.  These emotions will serve you well and only enhance your current and future relationships and behavior.
When negative thoughts and memories don’t influence your behavior, your able to live in the present and act and react in ways that swerve your higher self and the higher good of all you come into contact with.  This is a refreshing and wonderful change and allows one to live with love and peace rather than frustration and anger.

Many people around the world have seen the movie about a fish named Nemo.   For some reason the movie entered my mind while taking a walk this morning.  It occurred to me that Nemo, started life living free.  Not long after being born he suffered the loss of his mother and was raised by his loving father. While growing up Nemo received a lot of love, but at the same time his father was a bit over protective as he  feared losing Nemo.  But as any child grows eventually they feel a need to test their boundaries and explore their world. While doing so, Nemo made mistakes and one of them was to be captured and whisked away to live to in a small fish take. As his freedom was taken away the little fish did not give up hope, and knew one day he would regain his rightful freedom.

Nemos father was heart broken, and felt guilty, but nevertheless he was determined to find his son.  He had an incredible amount of faith, hope, and belief. So he set out to find Nemo.  During the journey he encountered many dangers, trials and tribulations. But he was relentless in his goal. Sure enough his patience and dedication paid off and indeed he was reunited with his son.

It occurred to me that besides being a great film, there were were many metaphors that be can applied to real life.  Many children grow up experienceing emotion pain, and loss, feelings of separation, anger, frustration, stress, anxiety, and low level of self esteem . These negative emotions tend to find a home in ones ego and come back to haunt them later in life.  But it is possible to overcome negative emotions and pain from the past by forgiveness, acceptance, and living in the moment. As one overcomes these problems, they develop a high sens of self esteem and are able to go out into the world and let their creativity, skill, talent, and love of life shine.  Maintaining a strong sense of hope, belief, and faith enable one to set and achieve goals and not succumb to peer and social pressures.

All humans make mistakes.  That is part of our nature and how we learn.  Nemo made a mistake but he was not identified by them.  He learned from them and is known for his good heart, faith in himself, hope, and love.  The same is true for us.  We are not our mistakes but rather the essence of what is in our heart, souls, internal beliefs, and values.While Nemo experienced doubt and fear, he did not let that rule his life.  Neither should we.

So this little fish teaches us all many valuable life  lessons an enables us to live a life of love and peace.

Today I had the pleasure of spending a few minutes with a small child.  She must have been around two years old, she had long black hair, dark eyes, dimples, and an incredible smile.  While it made me think of my girls and how much I love them, it also made me think about the innocence of youth.

Children are born innocent and depend on their parents for food, and love. They do not know about the world and trust instinctively trust adults will take care of them, guide them, and protect them.  As they grow they learn not just how to talk, walk, run, play, and interact with their family, they also learn how to act and how not to act.  They receive positive and negative reinforcement based on their actions and little by little learn right from wrong.

Children are also exposed to their parents and siblings behavior, and emotions including anger, resentment, frustration, feeling separate, fear, as well as love, joy, charity, faith, compassion, integrity, peace, empathy.  These impressions make their mark and are stored within their minds and hearts.

Soon enough, kids start preschool and have interaction with other kids and learn how to play, and are introduced to an extent to social rules and dagmas. When one kid wants a toy that the other has, or is mean to another child feelings of separation, jealousy, frustration are learned just as much as joy, fun, cooperation, and belonging. These are natural emotions and it’s good for children to start feeling them.

Sometimes the feelings kids have are strong and they come home from school and act out what they have experienced, as well as tell their parents what happened.  Things like Johnny took my toy and would not give it back, all the kids were teasing me and calling me names, or I hate Susie because she never listens to me….

As parents we need to listen and let the children know that these feelings are ok. These feelings are very real, and its important the children begin to see that emotions are signals as to what’s going on inside their bodies and minds.  This way they can begin to process the feelings and then let them go.

Many parents in this day and age have marital problems and the percentage that gets divorced is all too high. When kids see their parents fight they experience pain.  I am not suggesting that parents should fight in private but be aware that their actions can and do affect children. Parents fight about all kinds of things ranging from money, not sharing household responsibilities, drinking, sex, pressure, in-laws, promises not kept, and the list goes on.  Young children might not understand why their parents are fighting and assume the fight is about them.  Worse they could internalize values like lack, fear, anger, frustration and these feelings will be locked away in their minds only to resurface later when they are teenagers and adults. Thus it is important parents to be aware that their behavior is observed by their children.

When children hear their parents argue, it is not uncommon for them to have bad dreams. When this happens it’s a signal for parents to evaluate their behavior and take positive action. First they might look within themselves to identify the emotional baggage they carry from their past, acknowledge it  then forgive themselves and all involved. Next, they might want to consider couples counseling to work out their problems. Third they should communicate with their children and let them know the arguments were not about them and that they are loved.   This is an opportunity to teach the children about life.  The worst thing that can happen is that children grow up with negative feelings in their hearts as this pain will resurface later in their relationships. The best thing that can happen is children learn how to deal with their emotions and live with love and peace.

There are people that are frustrated, discourteous, rude, selfish, full of hate, and anger. When these people come into my proximity, I used to pick up on their feelings and soon I felt them too.  I did not like the way I felt and decided to manage my feelings.  I realized I could not be responsible for other peoples behavior but I could manage mine.

So I decided that when someone acted in a way that affected my happiness I would change the way I see them as well as hear them.  I envisioned their heads changing shapes into a watermelon, raisin, and even a rat. I changed their voice to into a cartoon character.  Depending on the person I chose the voice  of the teacher from the old Charlie Brown cartoon, or the voice of  the dog in the Scooby Doo cartoon.  As a result nothing these people say bothers me, and I just smile.  My happiness remains, and that helps me live with love and peace.

So I invite you to try this idea, and think of things that make you smile. It just might help you manage your anger too.