Archives for posts with tag: kids

It is that time of year again where stores force their employees to work like dogs, in order to sell us well – everything.   Some stores are selling certain things on sale, so you pay normal prices on the things you really want.  They figure since it is 2 AM and their are hundreds of people frantically rushing through the isles to take advantage of the great sale prices before the item is out of stock.  When it comes to the items that are not on sale the stores hope you just say to yourself well I am here I may as well buy it anyway…..

On one hand you got to love the capitalism.  These companies are trying to survive in troubled times  and want to make hay while the sun shines….  I get it.  On the other hand, many of these companies seem too aggressive with their extended hours and repetitious emails.   Last November, I saw some stores advertise they would be open 72 hours straight for our shopping convenience.  Perhaps its just me but with t.v., internet, and social media it feels like were already exposed to much advertising and spin.

Don’t misunderstand, I have the holiday spirit. I just think as a culture we need to evaluate our values.  Just as an example what if instead of printing and airing only advertising to sell fast food, cars, clothes, perfume, e.t.c., networks, newspapers, cable, and radio stations aired an appropriate number of community service type commercials so people could give back something rather than just take.  Just mentioning the different kinds of places people can volunteer their time, different projects going on, committees of citizens working to make better policies, after school functions, big brothers  sisters, e.t.c., could have a huge impact. We need to do this at a grass roots level, however if you have a different mindset no worries.  Rather than thinking local,  think global.

the path to peace

the path to peace

Is there one thing you can do to make our planet a better place.  It could be as simple donating to a water, food, or health related NPO.   The optimist in me sees so much potential to help preserve & conserve our natural resources, educate the world population, and promote values of love, forgiveness, and acceptance .  Where energy flows results show and I am sure giving your time, energy, and love will have a positive impact.  One person at a time we can make a difference.

With aloha

Still waters run deep

Still waters run deep

My daughters are 4 and 9 years old.  A few weeks ago their grandma gave them each a Barbie Doll.  My kids have not suffered from lack of toys, activities, or attention.  That said I have not given them toys that I feel give the wrong message.  I believe certain toys reflect the effectiveness of advertising and mass media.  The Barbie dolls are a prime example as I felt they did not project the idea that kids come in all shapes and sizes and not all have long hair, and the latest fashions.

However I have to say, my kids played with the dolls for hours the night the dolls  were given. I was amazed how the girls got lost in a world of their own wonderful imaginations. They created an ice skating show, fashion show, roller skating show, and they even shared clothes, boots, hair brushes, e.t.c.  I literally sat for 2 hours and was enthralled as they kept creating more ways to play.

I enjoyed seeing their expressions, smiles, and hearing their laughter and the monologues that came with each doll scenario they created.  It was a joy to witness their imaginations at work.  The girls had so much fun, and I have to admit that while I still think certain toys, and television shows give kids the wrong message, watching my girls play with their Barbie dolls I realized that their is more to them just having a pretty face, they actually can teach kids important values that include sharing, caring, and helping others.

So now I have a more open mind, and a happy heart.  This experience has shown me that it is good to be flexible in terms of forcing my internal beliefs onto my kids.  Moreover, it is good to let them play and discover their world.

I have been away from my kids for over 9 months and wanted them to know what is in my heart, so I sent them this letter today.  They are 4 and 9 years old.  I love them so.

Dear Hana and Aya,

I wanted to let you know some things about love and life

Love – For me this means the way I feel about the two of you.  It’s the feeling in my heart and soul that says you are the most important things in my life.  It is you and Aya that give my life meaning, joy, happiness, peace, fun, commitment, respect, understanding, compassion, trust, forgiveness,  and so much more.  It is if you are the beautiful light that lives within a rainbow or, like you are the stars that light up the night sky. When I look at your photographs or simply think about you girls, I feel such pride, and joy that it could fill the ocean.

Like – I like ice cream, Mexican food, daddy nachos, walking in nature, looking at beautiful sunsets, pretty landscapes, cold drinks on a hot day, fresh garden salads, and watching good movies.

There is a difference between like and love. I cannot live without love but I can live without like.  Of course I do not want to live without the things I like, but the truth is I can’t enjoy life without you two girls. The feeling of love for you both is so strong and big that it makes wonderful things like ice cream and Mexican food not as important. I hope this makes sense to you. Your mom feels the same way as she loves you girls so very much.  That is what parents do.  They love their children.

Sometimes however the love parents have for each other changes.  Sometimes they fall out of love.  Other times the love changes and becomes something new.  This is what has happened between your mom and me.  Our love has changed.  Your mother wants to change our relationship to be true to her inner feelings.

I respect your mom and truly want her to make her life all that she desires, even if it means we are no longer man and wife. I will always love your mom and am proud of her.  I believe with all my heart we will be friends, and as such will work together to raise you girls will love. Just because the love your mom and I have changes, does not mean the love each of has for you will change.  It will not.  We will both continue to love you girls will all our hearts.  That I can promise.

This time that I have been away has been hard for you.  It has been hard on your mom and myself. But this period will end and soon I will be home.  I cant wait.  I am so excited to see you girls.  There are so many things I want to do with you guys but most of all I just want to be with you. I am very proud of you.

I have changed a lot since I have been gone.  Just like you have grown so have I. Your minds have developed and you have gotten taller.  I on the other hand have grown on the inside in my heart. I think of what I have been through as a great change and rebirth just like a caterpillar turns into a butterfly.  A caterpillar starts as an insect that crawls.  Then nature tells it that it’s time to go into a cacoon and it changes completely. After a time the butterfly comes out of the shell and flaps its wings and takes flight.  It is more beautiful than it was before.

While I am not an insect, I have gone through great changes inside, and once free of this place I will flap my new wings and come home a new and better daddy.  Some of things that you did not like about me are gone.  I am no longer a person that gets angry easily.  I have learned patience, forgiveness, understanding, and the true meaning of love.   I have thought about you girls, a well as your mom, and my family.  I am at peace and living with love in my heart.  The problems that were once here have gone.

I cant wait to show you the new me.  But you will have to look carefully because unlike the butterfly I did not change how I look on the outside, just how I think and feel on the inside.

All my love daddy

Everyone who is alive has a history. Some of it is wonderful and some of it is not.That part is what I consider to be emotional baggage. The memories linger in our heart hidden from the surface, and only arise to when negativity awakens it.  Once activated our ego takes over and we often react or act in ways that do not serve our higher purpose the good of those around us.  It is not that we intend to let pain rule over our mind, it’s just that we can’t seem to stop it.  Or can we?

These memories take up space in our hearts that would be better filled with love. When my room is filled with clutter, I clean it.  I throw away things I don’t need or donate items to shelters, and organizations that provide clothes and other things to people in need.  The point is I remove the things that no longer serve a purpose.  It is also possible to remove the clutter that exists within our hearts.

The idea is to go through your memories and keep the bits that serve you and remove the bits (pain) that don’t.  Emotional baggage can weigh us down, so why not lighten our load? This creates space for love to come in and with it comes peace. Love is light, and as such is not heavy.

Accept the things that happened and forgive yourself and the people or situation that created the pain in the first place.  Once you start evaluating your life, these memories come to light. What I mean is some of the painful memories that became emotional baggage are buried so deep that they won’t surface without full intention, only then can you begin remembering things long forgotten.

Forgiveness, acceptance, compassion, love, faith, and belief serve your higher self, and  anger, hate, frustration, and resentment do not.  Once you make a  conscious choice to live a life filed with love and peace, you will find freedom.  As a result you and all those in contact with you will benefit.

Those of you that are parents can give your children a great gift, and that is to not to let your past pain rise up and pass to the next generation. Children will experience your anger and frustration if you allow your past pain to live on.  You can keep history from repeating itself and it its place fill their hearts with love and peace.