Archives for posts with tag: self control



Still waters run deep

Still waters run deep

Most of us know that salmon live for the day they return to where they originated. To do that they must swim against the current, encounter trials and tribulations. Those that make it back,  procreate then die.  I don’t know about you but part of that scenario does not sound that great to me.   Of course  there is a big difference between being a fish and a human, but the idea of going through life struggling and going against the flow of the universe seems futile. Perhaps this is one of lives big lessons.

Think about your life for a moment.  Have there been times when you pushed to hard in relationships, business, or  matters of the heart. What happened.  Did things turn out the way you wanted? And, have there been in times in your life when you did not resist what life was giving you and just accepted it. What was the result?  Did you experience stress, anxiety, rejection, feelings of abandonment,  not being worthy, or did you achieve your goal, solve a problem, communicate effectively, or be there for a friend?

Life has a way of teaching us that what we resist persists.  Accepting a life circumstance or situation allows you to deal with it in the now, and not add it to the emotional baggage of your past or future.   When we do this are going with the flow of life and living with love and peace.


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We all have trials and tribulations. How we deal with the circumstances in life defines who we are.   No matter what were going through, it is important to realize that life is full of magical moments.  If your in a rut, know that it won’t last.  Whatever the issue is it will pass.  Take time each day to reflect on all the things you are grateful for.  Staying in a state of mind that is positive and happy will offset the negativity.  Find joy in the beauty of just being.

Photo provided by Douglas J Hoffman

There has never been a better time to make things happen.  Rather than just go through the repetition of daily life, create the life you want in your mind and envision it. Believe in it. Each day take at least one action to help pave the way to get the life you want.  Where your mindset takes you, results will show and you will achieve it.  This kind of positive attitude and energy attacks like energy.

If you want a new relationship prepare for it in your mind and heart, then take some action to make it happen.  This could be anything from signing up to take a class, volunteering at a charity that you like, joining a club or group that you have an interest in. You might even consider joining or other popular online dating services.  The point is to make it possible to meet people.

If you are in a relationship that is going nowhere, but you feel its better than the unknown, then you might want to consider facing the issues and dealing with them, or ending the relationship so that you can thrive.  Divorce is scary, but fear is the mind killer.   Face the fear and all that is left is you.   Sometimes long term relationships don’t work.   It’s sad but true.  The reality is that you don’t have to settle for less than you want or deserve.

If your a parent make this the year you spend quality time just being with your children. They grow so fast and soon enough are gone.   Make the most of it.  Give them your time and love and they will grow up well.

If you have an idea for a business.   Explore it.  Do the leg work.  You will never know if it is a great idea unless you do the research.  If you get a set back accept it and then determine how to get around it.   If your passionate and determined there is no obstacle you can’t overcome.

Life is for believing, creating, contributing,  loving, and enjoying.  Life is a blessing and not a curse. So for it!

Wishing you all love and peace….

the path to peace

the path to peace


This photo was provided by Maui Photo Tours and Douglas Hoffman.

flower 2 for blog Mother nature has created countless forms of beauty, like this flower.  While in bloom now it wont stay this way for long as it continues its life cycle of rejuvenation and growth.  So take a moment to enjoy the color and texture because it does not last.  But it does return.

This is a good life lesson for humans as we too have periods of growth, rebirth, and rejuvenation. There are storms that threaten the flower, and sunny days that nurture it.   Change is constant, and we must embrace not only the moment now, but the things to come.

Everyone has problems, that is a part of life.  We have periods of joy, sadness, love, pain, acceptance, rejection, and peace of mind.  By taking a moment to enjoy and appreciate the beauty in life, like this flower, we can shift our attitude and focus  and experience gratitude, compassion, and maintain a positive attitude regardless of what storms arise.

Remember you attitude controls your altitude.

So regardless of your life circumstances now, take a moment to enjoy the good things that are ever-presant in your life and often times overlooked.

Wishing you all a great day full of love and peace……..

We all have life situations that arise that cause feelings of anxiety, anguish, and frustration.  These emotions are part of life. They do not need to cause us to feel bad. But all to often they do.

Over the last few months, I have been told time and time again that something would happen that would improve my current situation.  As it turns out these have been nothing but false and empty promises.  As a result, I started to feel let down, and upset.   Then I realized that only I can control my state of mind and level of happiness. I did not want this negativity lingering any longer, so I made the decision to let it go.

I have accepted that things will not improve in the timeline I want, but I know they will improve because I have faith, belief, and the knowledge that all problems pass.  In letting go, a weight was lifted and my state of mind improved.

Everyone can apply this type of acceptance to their own situation and life circumstance. By letting  go, you might not get what you want when you want it but you can be happy and at peace.


One of the best things I can share is how important it is to love yourself.  When you think about it how can you love others if you don’t love yourself. When you truly love yourself you can forgive yourself and others. It sounds simple, perhaps to simple,  but it is real.

Many people think they are loving but they carry around a lot of pain in their hearts and soul. This pain surfaces and causes disharmony in their relationships with themselves, and spouse and can be the cause of divorce, or not being able to find a partner to love.

In order to love yourself look within and acknowledge all that is good and bad. Relish the good, and forgive the bad. Once you do this you do this your spirit will be lighter and love will be ever-present.

When you love yourself it shows in how you act, react, and interact with people.  If you can mirror the love you have for yourself, nature, and other people it will show. As a result will attract love and enable you to find and maintain meaningful relationships.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe.  Harness it and see how your life improves.  I believe you will find your the quality of life improves.

There are people that are frustrated, discourteous, rude, selfish, full of hate, and anger. When these people come into my proximity, I used to pick up on their feelings and soon I felt them too.  I did not like the way I felt and decided to manage my feelings.  I realized I could not be responsible for other peoples behavior but I could manage mine.

So I decided that when someone acted in a way that affected my happiness I would change the way I see them as well as hear them.  I envisioned their heads changing shapes into a watermelon, raisin, and even a rat. I changed their voice to into a cartoon character.  Depending on the person I chose the voice  of the teacher from the old Charlie Brown cartoon, or the voice of  the dog in the Scooby Doo cartoon.  As a result nothing these people say bothers me, and I just smile.  My happiness remains, and that helps me live with love and peace.

So I invite you to try this idea, and think of things that make you smile. It just might help you manage your anger too.

Things occur every day that affect our mood.  Sometimes we feel elated and other times we don’t.  The question I have is what can we do to change or control our mood so we are happy and at peace, rather than mad or frustrated. Today I tried an experiment.  I gave myself five minutes to write down as many things as I could that me feel happy immediately.  I did not even try to write down things that make me frustrated or sad.  Why bother, those are emotions I want to release not hold on to. Afterwards  I wrote them down I asked myself how I felt, and if I was in a better mood than before I started the list.   The answer for me was yes, I did feel better.  Here are a few things from my list.

1)      walking on the beach

2)      Walking in nature among waterfalls and the rain forest

3)      Swimming

4)      Scuba diving

5)      Writing my blog

6)      Reading to my kids

7)      Playing with my kids

8)      Just being with my kids

9)      Thinking of ways to make my portrait, photo workshops, thrive

10)   Thinking about a new idea for a business

11)   Meditating

12)   Looking at photographs of my family and friends

13)   Reading a good book

14)   Making love

15)   Playing with my dogs


I would now like to invite those of you that read this blog entry to make your own list and afterwards think about your mood.  Has it improved?  Do you feel better?

If the answer is yes, why not put this list somewhere you can see it often so when you feel the need, you can look at it and change your mood.

If you like reply with a few items from your list so others can see the things that you happy.

There are times when a person shows no respect and does something you dont like.  When this happens its ok to think a negative thought, but its important not to let it make you negative.  See it for what it is and let it go.  Dont let that negative emotion dwell within you for if you do you lose the ability to be happy and at peace. You cant control the behavior and actions of others but it is within your ability not to let it affect you or your disposition.  Negative feelings and thoughts only promote more negativity.  So see the behavior, recognize it, and move on.  If you feel the need to react try to remember to do it with a positive feeling.

For example lets say you experience road rage.  You can say to yourself or others how rude the behavior was and then remember to think, feel, or say…. perhaps the person was having a very bad day, but you dont have to. Remember that as long as you arrive safely at your destination all is good. Staying in a positive state of mind will help you to stay happy and healthy while allowing yourself to dwell in negativity only invites more negativity in to your life.  Besides taking away your happiness and peace of mind, negativity invites sickness into your life.  So dont get angry and let others behavior bring you down.

“Your attitude controls you altitude”.