Last night something bad happened.  All the things I have been studying, practicing,and living evaded me. For a moment my ego took over,and negative emotions, and anger surfaced. I was provoked, but I know better. Things almost got ugly. I felt the flight or fight emotion take over and by the grace of god, I had the power to hold back.

Afterwards, I could not sleep.  My heat was pounding and my mind was racing. I spent the time reflecting on what happened. I realized it was a great lesson.  I have read countless books, meditated hundreds of times, and I realized I have a ways to go. I am human and make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them and not repeat them.

What I realized is that it takes diligence and focus to stay in the moment and call upon inner knowledge and strength rather than react in the heat of the moment. I forgot that I cant expect anyone to treat me with the same love and respect I have for others.  And, it is up to me to control my emotions.

In the morning I continued thinking about the incident and I forgave myself, and the people involved.  They however did not forgive me.  It is not in their nature as they are filled with hate and anger.  This is reality.  I accept it and surrender to what is.  I regret my behavior but learned a lot about myself.

The point I am trying to share is that having the best of intentions to live with love and peace is good, but doing it all the time is another.  When mistakes are made, we should learn from them and not repeat them.  This is easier said than done.

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