Archives for posts with tag: anger

There are many definitions of freedom.  Having the right to vote, practice religion, e.t.c…  Perhaps just as important but seldom spoke of is not caring what other people think about you.  We can’t control what other people do, say, and think, so why let it cause frustration and anxiety.  Why let ego create drama and turmoil in our minds and relationships, when we can just accept people are free to think what they will. We don’t have to like it, but in order to live with love, peace, and happiness rather than anger, frustrations, and resentment we need to accept it.

Advertisements
incoming tide

incoming tide

 

Every day the tide comes in bringing fresh energy and life. At low tide, sediment is flushed out. A cleansing and change of energy occurs.  Every dawn is a new day and with it comes the opportunity to release emotional sediment from the past and make way for new energy, happiness, awareness, and love.

Many people carry around emotional baggage that contains pain, resentment, and anger. This keeps them living in shadows of the past. What would happen if people learned and practiced forgiveness and love? I believe rays of light would illuminate their lives and remove the darkness.

tranquil stream

tranquil stream

 

Flowers make people feel

Flowers make people feel

Enjoy the moments of everyday life.

Enjoy the moments of everyday life.

Where ever you are at and what ever your going through at this moment is your life circumstance. It is in the present moment and happening now.  What happened last week, month or year is over.  What will happen next week, month, or year is in the future and has not happened yet.  So let go of the past you cant change it.  Don’t worry about the future because you can’t control it. Enjoy the moment.  Make the most of it.

If your angry release it,  If your frustrated or anxious, let the emotion pass through you.  If your happy and at peace mirror the feeling in your  actions.  Spread the joy.  Other people will see you happy and want what you have. The good news is there is enough happiness for everyone.

When we are at peace, our body gives off a higher vibration that is felt throughout the universe.  The effect it has is to bring you more happiness.   The opposite is also true. If your angry it will be apparent and others will catch the emotion like a cold and spread it through the universe, and you in turn will get more negativity in your life.

So make the decision to be happy.  The world will be a better place if you do.

Life, love, relationships, and friendship are elements of life that give us purpose, a sense of belonging, and fulfillment.  But, life circumstances change.  Relationships sometimes end, and for that matter friendships  too.   When this happens sometimes people are hateful, resentful, jealous, angry, hurt, rejected, and they might say or do things that cause you pause.

You have a choice when this happens.  You can internalize these actions and words and allow them to have power over you, which causes  negative feelings and emotions.  This will affect how you feel about yourself and others and will bog you down.   It is not easy to accept people as they are, not pass judgement, and forgive others as well as yourself for the pain, rejection, and anguish you feel. But, that is what is required for you to live with love and peace.

We all deserve to be happy and enjoy life.  But we can’t do that if we allow others to control our emotions and state of mind.  All we can do is control our emotions and outlook in life.

Someone once said you could be right or you can be happy but you can’t always be both.   I would rather forgive others for what they do, than spend energy resenting others for causing me pain. In this way, I control how happy I am.  The more I practice living in peace the happier I am.

I’m not suggesting that you just turn the other cheek, let others walk over you.  Not at all.  The point is that your in control and whatever people say or do does not need to change your mindset.  If you remove the emotion, anger, resentment, rejection, feeling of lack from a situation all that is left is you. From that point you can communicate and share your thoughts in a manner that is constructive.   If the other people involved react differently so be it.  You can not control how others feel.   Don’t let it get you down.

 

Peaceful beach in Maui

Peaceful beach in Maui

 

Image provided by Douglas Hoffman

flowershadowfor bolgLife contains periods of light and darkness. Mixed in among them are the shadows.   Photographers and artists love the shadows as it is the shadows that create contrast, dimension, depth, feeling, and emotion in paintings and photographs.  They are key elements to effective story telling.

Shadows have another meaning when thinking about the ego, human behavior, and emotions.   In this sense there are feelings, and emotions stored inside, that may affect how you deal with and respond to what is happening in your current life experience. These are hidden emotions  which can be the catalyst that promote self doubt, lack of confidence, anger, resentment, poor decision making, e.t.c..  The good news is that if we are aware and living in the moment, shadows serve to help us recognize our emotions stirring.

Recognizing these feelings as they are happening provides us the opportunity to deal with our issues in a positive manner serving the needs of everyone involved.  The alternative is to let the emotions inside awaken the ego and allow it to take control. When this happens things are often said and done in reaction without having taken a moment to think things through.

After a daunting rain, a rainbow appears and brings with it beauty and inspiration.  People experience turbulent times but they pass and its wake comes peace and happiness. Thus is the rhythm of life.  If not fo th hard times, good times would not be cherished or appreciated. If not for the mistakes people make thee would be ignorance as it is through mistakes that we learn, grow, & understand that life is joyous. True richness emanates from love that exists within all of us.

Everyone at some point exercises poor judgement and makes bad decisions. Some are expensive in terms of finances or emotional turmoil. It is the people that are present enough to look within themselves, as opposed to outside that are able to learn forgiveness that profit from all their life experiences.

Surrender, letting go, and forgiveness are not easy lessons to master.  This is because they carry such a negative charge, and a state of mind that feeds the ego.  Those that are blind to the power of the ego cannot see that their actions and behavior are not self serving but are destructive qualities that serve no purpose. Many of these people suffer from a victim mentality and if they could somehow reach beyond it could end their own misery.

life is meant to be wonderful just like a rainbow after the rain.  We should encourage all people to look within themselves in order to see the full spectrum of life.  I this way everyone could live with love and peace and deal positively with all of lifes circumstances.

 

A few hundred years ago, the colonies went to war for Americans to have freedom.   People were tired of suffering from the tyranny of England.  Americans wanted the freedom to choose religion, elect their leaders, and wanted to dictate their own policies, and political practices, and taxes.

Since then the concept of living free has been the cornerstone of the American mindset.  Songs have been written like Born Free, Home on the Range exemplify this.  Today Americans are free to live where ever they choose, do the work they work they want, practice the religion of their choice, wear the clothes and fashion styles they desire, and serve in the military if they so choose, and practice the religion of their choice.  Basically Americans are free to make their own decisions.  But what about inner freedom?

I look around and see many people that are angry, and not satisfied in their work, marriage, relationships, or financial situation.  Just driving the down the highway it’s easy to see people feeling road  rage.  It occurred to me that all people want to arrive at their destinations safely, be in happy fulfilled relationships, love their work, and feel secure that they can pay the bills. But something is getting in the way.

Perhaps it is because they are not free on the inside.  So many people are just going through the motions of life and are not in tune with them selves.  Rather than be happy they carry past pain and suffering in the hearts and allow their emotions and ego to control their actions, reactions, and behavior. If people invested  time looking within themselves in order to control their emotions, learn patience, and surrender, live in the present moment they would no longer be numb to the real joy of living and of being happy.

We did not fight for freedom all those years ago, so that today we could mad at the world.  No the idea was to be free in order to live a life of love and peace.

What is it that makes someone hate another? Is it the result of rejection, frustration, and fear?  Does it come as a result of social pressure,  our upbringing, religion, personal beliefs, prejudice, or could it be that we inherit it from our parents, the media, or living environment?  What is it about hate that some people are unable to get over the past, forgive others, or themselves?

Could it be that our ego feed the hate and gives it power over our actions, emotions, and behavior? Does this in turn generate a feeling of strength, and self importance?  Why does hate have the ability to keep people from learning and practicing forgiveness, or prohibit people from listening to another? And why can hate so effectively cloud ones judgement, and capacity to know right from wrong?  What is it about hate that when attempts are made for conflict resolution they are sen as personal attacks?  How can one overcome hate and learn to live with love and peace?

Some people say that seeing a therapist  is the best way to overcome hate.  While this is indeed effective it requires time and money. Others say turning to religion is the best way to concur hate.  Turning to god works for many people and should not be discounted as a valid technique it does not work for everyone.

I am not a priest, rabbi, monk, nor am I a trained therapist. I am just an ordinary man that has hated, and experienced hate. What worked for me was making the decision to study spirituality,  living in the now,  and a myriad of other self improvement books. I took from them what made sense, and then devoted time time looking within myself. I made the decision that I would get off the hate train as it led to nowhere I wanted go.

I believe with all my heart that if a person makes a decision to quit hating and start loving, they can do it. All that is required is conviction, faith, belief, hope, and learning how to control their emotions and most important their ego. Letting go of the past, learning forgiveness, practicing surrender, loving oneself, are key elements of the process.  Forgiveness has two elements.  First is forgiving yourself, and second forgiving those that you feel caused you pain, anxiety, frustration, and feelings of rejection.  The truth is when true forgiveness is given hate disappears.  In its place you will find, peace, love, and happiness.  Is that not what we all want in our lives?

Like a river that flows through calm water and challenging rapids, people go through easy and hard times.  That is life.  But like in a river that has turbulent water, eventually the current changes, and calm waters are found.  If people can let the past go and learn forgiveness, and stay present in the moment they will lie a life of love and peace…..

Have you ever watched a drop of water fall into a pool?  As it hits the surface it disappears and in its place ripples extend outward.  What once was a single drop is now a series of ever expanding rings. It’s a bit like a domino effect.

On a larger scale an underwater earthquake creates a tremendous amount of energy that often turns into a tsunami.  This is a large wave that powerful and travels as fast as five hundred miles an hour and travels vast distances where it drastically meets land.  In its wake is massive destruction of property and life.

In a similar way emotions can have the same effect.  When we experience something, we feel it. This is like the ripple caused by the drop of water. The emotion is felt in our bodies, mind, and soul.  This is true for positive and negative feelings. If were able to process the feelings and let them go little if any damage is done.

However, in the case of negative emotions like lack, fear, abandonment, rejection, and anger if were not able to process the feelings and let them pass through, the negativity is stored and sooner or later the tsunami comes and destroys our spirit, state of mind, and relationships. In this case the tsunami is actually our ego and it can be our own worst enemy.

The human ego feeds on negativity and loves to use it to control our actions and behavior whether we realize it or not. When something negative happens the stored energy erupts like a volcano and creates disharmony. Without realizing what is really happening we often lash out at the people that mean the most to us. The results can be devastating.  Relationships between parents and children, lovers, spouses and co-workers can be ruined beyond repair.

There is a way to avoid the cataclysmic events, and it is to manage ones emotions and feelings. This involves making a conscious effort to forgive yourself and others, to accept others feelings even if they are different from yours, to surrender to what is going on, and to stay present in the moment.

Accepting the situation is not giving up.  It is acknowledging that you can’t control the feelings and behavior of others.  That said you can control how you feel and act. This requires practice and patience. The ego is sneaky and will arise when you don’t expect it just like an earthquake. You will feel it coming to life as a stirring in your stomach.  This is the time to acknowledge it’s presence and say to yourself thank you and so long.  Once aware your ego is acting up, your living in the present moment and the ego cant function there. It lives with past pain and emotion and does not exist in the now.

If you make the decision to live with love and peace then you will not succumb to the power of the ego. But if you live with a lot of emotional baggage in your heart, sooner or later the tsunami will come.  The choice is yours.