Archives for posts with tag: self help

Each of us has a choice on how we see ourselves and the world.  Some people find that living in a constant state of joy, peace and happiness enables them to live in the moment and make the most of each day.

live your dream rather than live to dream

live your dream rather than live to dream

Others seem to live their lives in a state of negativity.  These people go through life missing the simple joys of a beautiful flower. They are often angry, frustrated, and living in disharmony.  I am not here to judge only suggest the idea that where energy goes results show.

morning dew is one of natures wonders

morning dew is one of natures wonders

I believe you can change your mindset by focusing your mind on the following concepts.   Live with gratitude.   Appreciate all the things you have. In this world there are too many people who have unsafe drinking water and not enough food. Take time to say to to yourself how grateful you are for the hot water shower, toilet, car you drive, food you eat, for the sunshine, e.t.c.  This can really change your attitude, especially at times when your feeling stress.  For example when stuck in traffic take the time to reflect on what you are grateful for.

Live with love in your heart and do your best to spread love.  If you remove all the social dogmas that surround and divide people you will see that we all have things in common.  We’re human and we all make mistakes.  We all want to provide for our families, educate our children, be healthy, and be loved. The more you love yourself and others the more love will be attracted to you.

Learn and practice forgiveness.   It is amazing how you can go from a resentful state to one of peace and joy, just by learning and practicing forgiveness.  Forgive yourself for things you have done, and others for what has been done to you.   I don’t know about you but I feel stress and frustration in my stomach first.  When this happens I recognize it and rather than let it grow I make the choice to accept it, think about it for a while, then let it go and forgive all those including myself.

This may sound kind of weird to some but the process really works for me. The reason is I want to feel happy and positive rather than sad and negative.

So what are you waiting for…..  Celebrate the joy in your life.

This whale is feeling joy and love!

This whale is feeling joy and love!



It is all to easy to get caught up in the moment of everyday life circumstance and think about what is not going well in your life. These people are living with a negative mindset. I bet that everyone reading this knows someone that is quick to blame others or get angry.  This is because placing blame rather than accepting what is real has become commonplace.  All too many people just go through the motions of living and do not actively participate in life. These people are living in a way that their past pain and circumstances influence the current life situation.

When people take responsibility for their own happiness and quality of life they accept their life circumstances, realize they cant control what others do but can control what they do, and how they feel. This is called living in the present moment and it provides a level of clarity which allows them to live in peace.  These people tend to think about what is going well in their life and have a positive mindset. When problems arise they work through them, and move on.  They do not dwell on the negative nor do they harbor animosity towards others.

I am not suggesting that people who have a positive attitude wont face challenges. Every human being alive has problems, issues, painful memories, expectations that were not met, e.t.c.  What I am saying is that a person with a positive mindset does not let these life circumstances make them hostile or angry.  They do not blame others but accept what is going on, then move on to resolve the situation.

So how does one get from living in the past and blaming others for things that occur in daily life to one who is living in the present and accepts what is going on now. The answers lie inside you.

What has worked for many people is to start meditating on a daily basis.  This helps clear the mind and heart.  Investing time to look inside and clean house enables you to remove negative emotions & painful memories. Accepting what has happened, and forgiving yourself and all those concerned is crucial to the process.   This acts as a giant eraser and removes all that stored negativity.  In that space you can now put in love and positive energy.

This sounds like a daunting exercise but once you start you will find that your feelings, attitudes, and behavior changes and before you no it you have transported yourself from past pain to living with love and peace in the present.

I went through this process in 2012, and it the result is a happier me. If I can do it.  Everybody can do it. So if your reading this and realize you have a negative mindset and want to change go for it.  You have nothing to lose but negativity and past pain.

It is a fact that emotional turmoil, feelings of anger, frustrations, resentment, and disappointment are caused by our own internal response to outside stimuli and life circumstance. Simply put we create them ourselves. We do this through how we interpret situations, how we assume what others think, and most of all our level of self esteem.  What were doing is reacting to outside factors.   This causes tension and negative emotions to arise within us.  If people  can learn to control their response and maintain a relaxed state of mind the feelings of frustration, anger, e.t.c., will not materialize.  The bottom line is that if people can relax and not take things so seriously they will avoid tension an negative emotions and as a result will be happy and able to live a life of love and peace.

Whatever is going on in your life, and whatever your life circumstance happens to be that is real. You can accept it as what is, or you can deny it.  This is how life works.  Everyone has issues and problems.  It is how we deal with them that allows us to live with love and peace.  When we accept what is it might mean we need to forgive ourselves or others for what is going on.

We all make mistakes, that is part of being human, but the mistakes we make do not define who we are. It is how we react, and learn from the mistakes we make that define who we really are. Remember the past is done there is no going back. The present is what is happening now, and the future has not yet arrived.   We can help create our future by taking action in the present.

This applies to relationships, emotions, career, health, fun, and how we deal with adversity.  Life need not be discouraging, in fact it can be exciting. It is all a matter of of we deal with things and the actions or reactions we have to situations that arise, goals we have made, our core values and beliefs.  Faith, belief, and self esteem help us work through issues and find love and peace.

We all have life situations that arise that cause feelings of anxiety, anguish, and frustration.  These emotions are part of life. They do not need to cause us to feel bad. But all to often they do.

Over the last few months, I have been told time and time again that something would happen that would improve my current situation.  As it turns out these have been nothing but false and empty promises.  As a result, I started to feel let down, and upset.   Then I realized that only I can control my state of mind and level of happiness. I did not want this negativity lingering any longer, so I made the decision to let it go.

I have accepted that things will not improve in the timeline I want, but I know they will improve because I have faith, belief, and the knowledge that all problems pass.  In letting go, a weight was lifted and my state of mind improved.

Everyone can apply this type of acceptance to their own situation and life circumstance. By letting  go, you might not get what you want when you want it but you can be happy and at peace.


How we think about ourselves affects how live our lives. Positive thoughts lead to happiness.  Negative thoughts lead to distress and disharmony. A high level of self esteem leads to personal success in business, relationships, and life. A low level of self esteem leads to failure in personal relationships, and professional career. If your happy and you know it, this shows to the world.  If your not happy it will show to.

Only you have the power to change your attitude and mind set.  So if your not happy change your attitude.  Rather than focus on your problems, past failures, mistake you have made, or what is wrong with other people.  Take some time and think about the success you have had in your life.  Think about some of the happy times you have had.  Build on those.  The truth is you have had succeeded in the past and have good memories, you can change your attitude about your self.  Make some goals, and use your imagination to tell your mind what it will be like to reach them.  Imagine the feelings you have, then imagine you have achieved the goals already.  Your mind will react, and your subconscious mind will set will react and provide inspiration, ideas, and and methods for you to follow, and in so doing your inner attitude and self esteem will change.

If you want a new relationship, think about all the things you feel once you have it.  Think about what your ideal person will look like.  Be as detailed as possible. For example if your a man and want to meet the right woman make a list of all the aspects of her persona that you want from the color of her hair, to her perfume.  Even her educational background, internal beliefs and values.  Then read the list to yourself everyday.  Then envision you have already met her, and your starting to date.

Your mind does not know the difference between your imagination and what is real. Your mind subconscious mind will then go to work, and provide you the means to meet this woman.  It might mean you need to take dance lessons, join the Seirra Club, learn to scuba dive, join a dating service, or volunteer in a some sort of social or church program..  The point is your mind will will guide you to take action and in doing so your attitude and self esteem will change and sooner rather than later you will meet the person you have been envisioning.

Try it, you have nothing to loose and everything to gain.

Have you ever watched a drop of water fall into a pool?  As it hits the surface it disappears and in its place ripples extend outward.  What once was a single drop is now a series of ever expanding rings. It’s a bit like a domino effect.

On a larger scale an underwater earthquake creates a tremendous amount of energy that often turns into a tsunami.  This is a large wave that powerful and travels as fast as five hundred miles an hour and travels vast distances where it drastically meets land.  In its wake is massive destruction of property and life.

In a similar way emotions can have the same effect.  When we experience something, we feel it. This is like the ripple caused by the drop of water. The emotion is felt in our bodies, mind, and soul.  This is true for positive and negative feelings. If were able to process the feelings and let them go little if any damage is done.

However, in the case of negative emotions like lack, fear, abandonment, rejection, and anger if were not able to process the feelings and let them pass through, the negativity is stored and sooner or later the tsunami comes and destroys our spirit, state of mind, and relationships. In this case the tsunami is actually our ego and it can be our own worst enemy.

The human ego feeds on negativity and loves to use it to control our actions and behavior whether we realize it or not. When something negative happens the stored energy erupts like a volcano and creates disharmony. Without realizing what is really happening we often lash out at the people that mean the most to us. The results can be devastating.  Relationships between parents and children, lovers, spouses and co-workers can be ruined beyond repair.

There is a way to avoid the cataclysmic events, and it is to manage ones emotions and feelings. This involves making a conscious effort to forgive yourself and others, to accept others feelings even if they are different from yours, to surrender to what is going on, and to stay present in the moment.

Accepting the situation is not giving up.  It is acknowledging that you can’t control the feelings and behavior of others.  That said you can control how you feel and act. This requires practice and patience. The ego is sneaky and will arise when you don’t expect it just like an earthquake. You will feel it coming to life as a stirring in your stomach.  This is the time to acknowledge it’s presence and say to yourself thank you and so long.  Once aware your ego is acting up, your living in the present moment and the ego cant function there. It lives with past pain and emotion and does not exist in the now.

If you make the decision to live with love and peace then you will not succumb to the power of the ego. But if you live with a lot of emotional baggage in your heart, sooner or later the tsunami will come.  The choice is yours.

Remember back when you were a child and how much you looked forward to birthdays and Christmas and then just like that the special days were over and gone, and you went back to waiting.  Some people say that anticipation for a moment is always better than the moment.

As an adult you might experience a similar pattern of waiting. Looking froward to the big promotion, getting a new car, or going on vacation.  While it is good to have goals and to look forward to certain events it is importnat to remember to live and enjoy life now.

The future has not happened yet but life is going on all around you now.  So make the most of everyday.  Rather than dream to live – live to dream.  Meaning enjoy the moment, make the most of it, and think big.  There is nothing wrong with dreaming of the future because when you do those things your doing it now.

Remember life is full of moments like today.

“There is a Tibetan saying: ‘When things are difficult, then let yourself be happy.’ Otherwise, if happiness is relying on others or the environment or your surroundings, it’s not possible. Like an ocean, the waves always go like that but underneath, it always remains calm. So we have the ability as well. On an intellectual level, we may see things as desperate, difficult. But underneath, at the emotional level, you can keep calm.” Dali Lama

What an inspiration to living with love and peace. Live to love and love to live.  May we all find inner and outer peace.

Love life, love your self.  Love others, and love is kind of love is powerful and you have are will attract more love to you.  You find that you meet new people and the relationships  will include intimacy, good communication, patience, acceptance, surrender, and acceptance.   With love in your heart you are a powerful force on the planet.

Live with love and peace.